


divorce brought us together

by caneeljoy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Fluff, M/M, divorce fic, fluffy fluff fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:38:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 22,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caneeljoy/pseuds/caneeljoy
Summary: Warnings: problems with parents, fighting, homophobiaSummary: Castiel’s parents divorced when he was young, and since then he’s had visitation with Chuck a few times a year. He’s eight years old when he meets Dean Winchester, and the relationship that develops is nothing less than profound as it lasts despite the miles between them. (Divorce AU where Cas and Anna are siblings, Chuck is their douche-y dad, and Naomi is their super-strict mom. Nobody dies, and Cas and Dean get together when they’re teens. Sam and Jess are strictly friends in this fic.)(Additional note: the IB chapters contain little to no romance. They’re just background about Cas and his life/problems at home.)





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was a long journey to write, and an even longer one to revise! Art credit in Chapters 5 and 17 goes to umithinkyes.tumblr.com - she is AMAZING!! I hope you enjoy the story!

“Is Daddy our dad?”

Naomi looked over her shoulder at Castiel, who was strapped into his carseat. “What?”

“There’s Tim, at home, and there’s Daddy.” Castiel thought for a minute before continuing. “Is Tim our daddy?”

“No, Castiel. Tim is your stepdaddy. I’m married to him.”

“Aren’t you married to Daddy?”

“I used to be.” Naomi pulled into a driveway and put the car in park.

Castiel was confused, but he didn’t say anything else. He squeezed Anna’s small hand to wake her up and looked out the window at this father’s house. Unexpectedly, he found his eyes were tearing up.

“Mama… I don’t want to go…” Castiel whined, not knowing how else to express himself.

“I know, sweetheart, but you have to.” She got out of the car, opened Castiel’s door for him, and started unbuckling Anna from her carseat. “It’s only for three weeks.”

“Mama…”

“Maybe you’ll meet a new friend!” His mother’s voice was overly cheery. “Daddy said something about two nice boys he’s bringing you to meet. Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“No.”

A mother only had so much patience. “Go get your suitcase. Anna’s, too.”

Castiel opened the trunk and pulled out two suitcases. Naomi lifted Anna to the ground, and Anna spotted Castiel carrying her bag, which had Dora the Explorer’s face on the front. She frowned and pointed at it.

“Words, Anna,” their mother reminded her.

“Anna carry,” Anna said.

“It’s okay, Annie, I got it,” Cas said generously.

“Oh, give her the suitcase.” Their mom sighed. “You know how she gets.”

Castiel relinquished the bag, trying not to feel offended. Anna squealed at the sight of her hero and patted Boots’s face with a chubby hand.

Naomi rang the doorbell. A familiar face answered the door.

“Cassie!” the loud voice sang. “And my little Annie-boo!”

“Dada!” Anna trilled, dropping her suitcase and tackling his leg.

Castiel wasn’t so young that he missed the look exchanged between his parents. It was a tense look with anger barely reined in behind it. (It scared him.)

“Charles,” his mother said, voice cold.

“It’s Chuck,” his father replied.

“Goodbye, Castiel.” His mother kneeled down to his height and gave him a tight hug. “Call me if anything happens,” she whispered into his ear. Castiel nodded.

He watched her drive away and his heart longed for the backseat.

The house was unfamiliar. Anna was tearing around, slipping on the slick floor and giggling like mad. His father was in the kitchen. 

“What do you two want for dinner? I bet you’re hungry from that long drive.”

“Chickinuggets!” Anna cried. 

“Cassie?”

“Whatever Anna’s having.”

“Look at you!” His father crouched down and poked his tummy, making Castiel giggle. “You’re skinny! Does Naomi even feed you?”

“Only rabbit food,” Castiel said, mimicking a sentence he’d heard from Tim.

His father laughed. “Alrighty then!” That cheery tone again. It made Castiel feel happy and uncomfortable at the same time.

They had dinner, then as much dessert as they wanted. Castiel slept in an unfamiliar bed and spent three weeks doing fun things. They ate lots of good food, got as many presents as they wanted, and did so many amazing things… 

Castiel had so much fun, and didn’t want to go back to New Hampshire at the end of those three weeks. He clammed up when he saw the upset look on his mom’s face, but Anna cried for the next hour.

Staring out the car window late that night, Castiel realized he hadn’t met those boys his mother had told him about.


	2. Meeting

The schedule was always the same: a week during Winter Break in February, a week during Spring Break in April, three weeks in July, a week for Thanksgiving, and a week for Christmas. It had been that way ever since Castiel’s parents divorced… Naomi got custody because his father had never expressed much interest in seeing his children. Castiel visited Chuck those five times per year and lived with his mother the rest of the time. 

Castiel sometimes missed his father, but as he grew older he understood why he didn’t see his father very much: it was because his father didn’t want to see him. That hurt. But he learned to smile and pretend he didn’t care, for Anna’s benefit.

He met Dean Winchester in the summer.

His dad was working a construction job, because he couldn’t sustain himself on only writer’s royalties. He introduced Castiel and Anna to his friend once they arrived at the construction site.

“Cassie, Annie, this is John Winchester.” Chuck clapped a hand on the tall man’s shoulder. “He’s the man I told you about at home.”

“Nice to meet you!” Anna chirped. She looked very cute, red hair up in two pigtails.

“Hi,” Castiel muttered, eyes directed at the ground. He wished that Chuck had just left him and Anna at home.

“Mary couldn’t watch the boys,” John said to Chuck, “so I dropped them off at the arcade across the street.”

“Castiel, take Annie over there and play with them, okay?” Chuck was barely paying them any attention at this point. “Here’s something for the games.” He pressed a ten dollar bill into Cas’ hand. 

Castiel took Anna by the hand and left, knowing his dad wasn’t going to say goodbye or anything. “Look both ways,” Castiel reminded his sister. They looked, then crossed the street.

Holding the door open for Anna, Castiel spotted two boys in one of the back corners. They looked young, the oldest about his age and the youngest about Anna’s. Castiel took Anna’s hand and headed over.

“Hi!” Anna twisted her hips so her dress twirled out. 

The older boy looked at her and blinked. The younger was immersed in a game of Frogger and didn’t respond.

“Are you John’s sons?” Castiel asked, raising his voice slightly to be heard over the clamor.

The older boy’s expression became guarded. “Who wants to know?”

“Castiel and Anna,” Castiel said.

The boy’s face remained perplexed.

“Chuck’s kids?” Castiel tried.

“Oh!” The boy smiled then and stuck out a hand for Castiel to shake. “My name’s Dean. I’m nine, and this is Sammy. He’s five.”

Sam groaned as he lost his last life, and hopped down from the stool. “Hi! Who are you?” he asked Anna.

“I’m Anna!”

Castiel smiled as Anna and Sam began to chat animatedly. “It certainly looks like they’re hitting it off.”

“Looks that way,” Dean agreed. 

Anna left Sam and ran up to Castiel, sporting her best puppy-dog eyes. “Can I have money?”

Without thinking twice, Castiel handed her the ten. She trotted away, holding it aloft like a trophy, back to a grinning Sam.

“So…” It got awkward pretty quickly. Castiel shuffled the toe of his left sneaker against the worn carpet.

Dean pulled a few dollar bills out of his pant pocket. “Wanna play something?”

“I can’t take your money-”

“You gave your sister all your cash, remember?”

“Yeah…” 

“Then c’mon!” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and pulled him towards a line of racing games. Castiel almost resisted but decided not to… Dean really wasn’t holding him very hard. Castiel ended up getting royally beaten at Fast And Furious… twice.

“Man, you suck!” Dean chortled, scooting off the seat.

“I don’t get much practice,” Cas defended himself. “Mommy… I mean, Mom. Mom hates electronics and stuff.”

“It’s okay, I call my mom Mommy sometimes too,” Dean assured him. “I won’t make fun of you.”

“Thanks.”

“So wait, you don’t even have a TV?”

“Nope.”

“That sucks!”

Castiel sighed. “It kinda does, yeah.”

Dean shrugged. “Eh, it’s not all that important, anyways. Most of it’s boring.”

They split an order of fries from the snack stand, using the last of Dean’s money, and talked while they waited for their dads to come get them. During that time, Castiel learned a lot about Dean, and Dean learned a lot about Castiel… and Castiel gained his new nickname.

“Castiel is a really long name,” Dean noted. “I’m gonna call you Cas, instead.”

Castiel stole Dean’s fry from his hand and popped it into his mouth. “I’d like that.”

“Hey, that was my fry!” Dean huffed. 

(They ended up wasting the rest of the fries having a food fight.)

It was almost nightfall by the time their fathers came to get them, and it took several minutes to round up Sam and Anna, who were hyper and unwilling to leave.

“We’ll see them again in a couple days, honeybunches,” Chuck said to placate Anna.

“Whee!” Anna cried, bouncing up and down. Castiel exchanged a smile with Dean.

“Can we play again soon?” Sam asked John.

“You can play next week,” John replied.

“Can we play again tomorrow?”

John laughed at that. “Well, Chuck?”

Chuck shrugged. “If Mary’ll let you out tomorrow night, I’ll pay.”

“Sure you will.” John snorted. “Drop the kids off at three tomorrow, and I’ll see if I can get out of the doghouse long enough to get out for some beers.”

“Mary mad at you again?”

“Came home two days ago hungover,” John replied.

Castiel didn’t follow most of the conversation, but saw Dean’s face darken when John said he was “hungover.” Castiel didn’t know what the word meant but guessed it wasn’t good… 

“See you then, then.”

“Don’t start making this a habit, Chuck,” John warned. “I know you.”

“It won’t be,” Chuck promised.

~

Turned out, Chuck’s promises were empty… Castiel was angry at himself for ever thinking otherwise. For the next two years, Castiel and Anna spent more time at Sam and Dean’s than at their father’s. John obviously was pissed at Chuck for not wanting to take care of his own children. Chuck’s excuse was always that he needed quiet to write and Castiel and Anna were too loud.

Neither of them minded, though. Anna adored Sam, and they both loved John and Mary like a second set of parents. And Cas loved being with Dean most of all.

Castiel spent his twelfth birthday at the Winchesters’. 

“Happy birthday, Cas!” Castiel had barely walked through the doorway before being engulfed in a bear hug. Upon realizing it was Dean (he could tell from the smell - Dean always smelled like the forest), he relaxed and hugged back.

“Thanks, Dean.”

Dean pulled back, looking a bit embarrassed, and cleared his throat. “So, what’d you get?”

“My mom got me an iPod!” Castiel produced it from his back pocket. “For doing really well on my math standards test. It’s kinda old…”

“Nah, it’s cool!” Dean assured him, examining it. “It’s retro. LIke the Impala!”

“You’ve still got awhile until you get those keys, Dean.” John ruffled Dean’s hair.

“Daaaad!” Dean complained, shoving his father’s hand away.

“Happy birthday, Castiel.” John’s shirt smelled faintly of alcohol.

Anna bounded past Castiel and plowed into Sam. “Sammy!”

“Hiya, Anna!”

Cas took off his shoes and took Anna’s bag from her. He headed for the basement, which was cozy and warm. The four of them always slept down there, and they stayed up late watching TV and playing video games…

“Dinner’s almost ready, boys!” Cas saw a flash of blonde hair and Mary appeared at the doorway of the kitchen, oven mitts on her hands. “Happy birthday, Castiel!”

“Thanks, Mary.” John and Mary insisted that Cas and Anna called them John and Mary instead of Mr. and Mrs. Winchester. (“It sounds too formal,” Mary had said.)  
When Cas saw the cake, his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “Mary… you… you shouldn’t have!”

“Now, Castiel, none of that,” Mary said sternly. “It’s not every day you turn twelve!”

Yeah, and your own father drops you off and refuses to be near you. Cas wasn’t stupid. He could read between the lines. (And yes, it hurt… but at the same time, he’d much rather be with Sam and Dean and Mary and John than sitting silently in his bedroom while his father puttered about, pretending to give a crap whether it was Cas’ birthday or not.)

The cake was three layers, two vanilla with a layer of chocolate in the middle. It was frosted with white icing, and in the center was a cute bumblebee made out of frosting.

“Dean told me how much you like bees,” Mary said, smiling at the look on Cas’ face. “Shall we eat?”

“Yeah, Mom, we shall.” Dean shot Cas a look, like, _can you believe her?_

The hamburgers were delicious and the cake was even better. It was eight PM by the time they finished. Anna and Sam were practically falling asleep in their chairs.

“Time for bed!” Mary whisked their dishes away. “I see some very sleepy children who need their energy for tomorrow!”

“Why, what’s tomorrow?” Dean perked up, interested.

John pushed in his chair with a scraping noise. “We’re going to the water park. Chuck’s decided he needs a few days to himself, so Cas and Anna are staying with us until Friday.”

Cas opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. It was Wednesday. Their father had decided to leave them with the Winchesters for the remainder of their visit. And while Cas felt that was a good thing, it did mean that they were intruding… 

“That’s great!” Cas could see righteous anger battling with happiness on Dean’s face. Dean slung his arm around Cas’ shoulder. “Who cares about him, huh? We’re going to have so much fun he’ll be jealous.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Castiel said, trying for a smile. He knew he had to pretend he was fine.


	3. Growing Up

Cas wasn’t blind.

Naomi tried her best to stay positive and unbiased, and sometimes it killed Cas. He wasn’t a kid anymore - he was thirteen. He’d been asking Naomi for years to explain things, things about Chuck and Tim and everything else. Naomi felt that even at a young age Cas was mature enough to know, so one day she simply sat him down and answered all of his questions.

Why did his parents divorce? Chuck had cheated on Naomi… and she’d caught him in the act. (Cas decided to not push further about that.) They’d divorced when he was six, and Anna was three.

What exactly was Tim, to Cas and Anna? Tim was their stepdaddy, but they called him Daddy, but not around Chuck so they wouldn’t hurt his feelings. That sort of confused Cas, but he didn’t say anything about it.

Why did Chuck not want to spend time with him and Anna? Naomi pressed her lips together and said Chuck was not a bad man… he was just confused. Cas let that one go.

And most importantly: what was court? His mother had mentioned it about a week ago and he’d been wondering ever since. Naomi explained that the “court” was a group of people who made choices for people who couldn’t make the choice themselves. She said that she was taking Chuck to court. When Cas asked why, she refused to answer.

“Am I going to go to court?”

“No, Castiel, I’m not letting you get dragged into this.” Her voice was firm. “You’re too young and these matters can be vicious.”

Soon, Naomi left to go to court, leaving Cas and Anna with Tim. Tim was really nice, most of the time. He liked messing around with his truck, and he taught shooting classes at the range in town. Sometimes he got loud when Cas or Anna got “uppity” to their mom, but otherwise he was a good guy.

When Naomi came back, she told Cas that they couldn’t sleep over at Chuck’s anymore.

“What?” 

“No more overnights,” Naomi repeated. 

“But… why?” Cas didn’t care about that very much, except for…

“What about with Dean and Sam?”

Naomi’s face softened. “You really like them, huh?”

“They’re like family,” Cas said, trying not to tear up at the thought of no more sleepovers.

“Then I’m sure we can work something out,” Naomi said.

“And Anna really likes Sam, too,” Cas added.

“I’ll work something out.” She squeezed Cas’ shoulder. “I promise.”

~

The court had decided on specific times that Chuck would come pick them up and drop them off every morning and every night when they visited. Cas and Anna stayed at their cousins’ house during the night. 

That house was fairly crowded; they had a lot of cousins. Lucifer and Michael were the oldest, so they were in charge when they weren’t away at college. Michael went to college… Lucifer drifted in and out of jail. And then there was Zach, Samandriel, Raphael, Gabriel, Uriel, Balthazar… Castiel had heard of Gadreel, but he was in prison. Nobody would tell him what for, though.

Despite their dysfunctionality, Cas and Anna had fun with their cousins. Gabriel kept the pantry stocked with candy, which was a treat for them since Naomi always kept their food ultra-healthy. Uriel was always following somebody around, peppering them with bad jokes until they laughed. And Balthazar’s English accent was amazing… he was teaching Anna how to “speak proper British.”

Naomi had followed through on her promise, and had worked things out so Cas and Anna could see the Winchesters. Naomi made sure that Cas and Anna saw them at least a couple nights per visit. 

But the summer before Castiel turned fifteen was one of his favorite visits with the Winchesters.

Initially they were only going to spend one night with them, but Chuck had a new girlfriend… her name was Becky. She’d booked a cruise for her and Chuck… only her and Chuck. Their dad had basically dropped them at the Winchesters’ without even saying goodbye.

“Thank you,” Castiel said quietly, gazing out the window at his father’s car getting smaller in the distance. 

“For what?” Mary’s voice was soft. “You’re always welcome here, Castiel. You and Anna.”

“Yes, but-” Cas huffed a laugh. “Never mind. Just, thank you.”

“This week is gonna be awesome, Cas!” Dean slung his arm around Cas’ shoulder and pulled him into a hug. “I missed you,” he said into Cas’ hair.

“Missed you too,” Cas replied, hugging back with a vengeance. 

“Dinner in an hour,” Mary said to Dean. “Tell your brother… I think he’s in the basement with Anna.”

“Probably showing off his Minecraft world.” Dean rolled his eyes. “He hogs the Xbox all day long, we’ll have to wait until he’s asleep. Hey, I got Left 4 Dead 2 a couple weeks ago… wanna play it later?”

“Sure” Cas said, knowing he’d get his butt kicked (as usual) but not really caring.

Dean took Cas by the hand and brought him to the back door, kicking it open and gesturing for Cas to go first. The air outside was warm but not uncomfortably so. 

“Dean, where are we going?” Cas let Dean tug him along but couldn’t help asking.

“Somewhere special,” Dean said mysteriously.

They walked around the side of the house, and Dean climbed up onto the railing. He stood up, wobbled, then grabbed the edge of the roof.

Cas watched in awe as Dean pulled himself up onto the roof. He got a firm grip on the shingles and turned, green eyes sparkling. “Come on!”

“I don’t know, Dean…” 

“Aw, c’mon, live a little!” Dean begged.

Cas climbed onto the railing. He tried to stand, lost his balance, then grabbed the roof to steady himself. 

“Great job!” Dean said. “Now pull yourself up.”

Cas’ fingers shivered on the rim of the gutter. “I’m not strong, like you-”

Suddenly, Cas’ foot slipped. He choked on a gasp. Before he could lose his balance, Dean grabbed his forearms. Green stared into blue.

“I won’t let you fall,” promised Dean.

“I know,” Cas replied.


	4. "Preference"

Whenever Cas felt like giving up, he thought of the rooftop. One of the only places he felt safe and loved and where nobody would judge him, where he had the promise of a warm dinner and a late night of talking, video games, and Dean.

He kept a journal. Not about himself, or what happened to him, because none of that was all that interesting to Cas. No, he kept a journal of Dean.

The things about Dean that he wanted to remember, like his favorite flavor of ice cream (vanilla), his favorite kind of music (classic rock), his favorite type of car (‘67 Impala, obviously). Pictures he’d taken of Dean, Anna and Sam, and pictures of Dean and him together. They made him very happy when things got tough at home.

It wasn’t like Naomi was a bad mother; on the contrary, she was an excellent parent. Castiel knew that. She’d raised him and Anna to be loving and unbiased and fair, and taught them how to take care of themselves and others. But sometimes she was… difficult.

She had very high standards for Castiel and Anna. She said she didn’t want them to have to live in poverty or live off of anything but their own money. And she wanted them to have a career that paid well… like a lawyer or a doctor or an engineer.

Castiel wanted to be an author, like his father. But he never told his mother that. His teachers urged him to enter into writing contests, but he politely declined because he didn’t want his mother to find out… she hated talking about anything Chuck-related, including writing.

He also wasn’t terribly motivated. He took academics seriously, and knew that he needed good grades to get into a good college, etc etc. But he hated work. Math, science, things he’d never need in his life. There was no point. He’d rather be baking or writing, reading or living an amazing life. Dean understood. Dean always understood.

Naomi bought an old computer to serve as the “family computer” once Cas entered eighth grade. And since it was so old, Cas was able to sidestep the parental controls. He’d often sneak it up to his bedroom and stay up late on social media and YouTube. The best thing about that computer, though, was being able to talk to Dean.

They met up on a private messaging site almost every night from September to November and just talked. It was amazing, but not the same as face-to-face. Dean swore that when they saw each other at Thanksgiving, they’d sit down and talk, for real. 

Cas couldn’t wait.

~

Cas turned fifteen, and everything started to change. Everything became more complicated. High school was difficult - much harder than middle school. Cas was constantly worrying about his grades. Then something came up that complicated school even more… 

It was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break, and Cas had been doodling in one of his many notebooks for most of class. He was so out of it that he didn’t notice the boy tapping him on the shoulder at first.

“Hey. Hey, you’re Castiel, right?”

Cas blinked and realized the bell had rang for lunch. “Um, yeah. That’s me.”

The boy looked about a year or so younger than him. “Uh… ha ha, this is awkward. My friend… he wanted me to ask you if you’d go out with him.”

It took Cas a second to process that, then understood: he was being asked out by a guy. Well, through a friend… 

And it didn’t bother him?

Cas smiled. “Tell him no thank you, I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now.”

“I didn’t know you were gay,” came a voice from behind him.

Cas turned, clutching his notebook to his chest, to see:

“And how does that concern you, Crowley?” Cas scowled at the heavyset teen. Crowley always seemed to dislike Castiel for some reason, though Cas had never done anything to him.

(The boy, having good sense, scuttled back to his friend when Crowley had appeared.)

“It doesn’t.” Crowley’s accent sort of reminded Castiel of Balthazar’s and he hated that. “But I’m sure it would concern some of my friends… they do love a good gossip.”

Cas knew Crowley was probably threatening him… maybe expecting Cas to beg? Bargain? Drop to his knees and weep?

Then Cas thought of Dean, and how Dean would react in his place. So he pushed his chest out and put his chin up. “Go ahead.”

“Excuse me?” To his credit, Crowley really did seem baffled by Castiel’s answer. 

“I said, go ahead.” Cas maintained intense eye contact with Crowley. “I don’t care who knows I’m gay. Tell the whole school, if you want.”

Crowley opened his mouth, shut it, and opened, and shut it, not unlike a goldfish.

“Oh, and shut your mouth… you look ridiculous,” Cas said. And then he walked away, allowing himself a small smile imagining how Dean would react.

~

“You’re gay?”

Cas stared at Dean in the light of the setting sun. “That’s what you got from this?”

Dean waved his hand dismissively, gazing off into space. “I mean, great job for sticking up for yourself, man, it’s just that I… I didn’t know.”

“I suppose it took me a while to come to terms with it,” Cas admitted. “Mom’s a devout Christian… we never really talk about it, but… I don’t… think she’d approve.”

“I dunno about me, yet,” Dean said suddenly. “I mean, I know I like girls, but maybe I’m bi, you know? I can’t tell yet.”

“Yeah, I… wanted to tell you.” Cas smiled awkwardly at him, though he wasn’t looking Cas’ way. “I thought you should know.”

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean looked at him, which relieved Cas for some reason. 

“It’s nothing,” Cas said. “That’s what friends are for.”

_Friends,_ Cas thought. _That’s what friends are for…_


	5. New Year's

(Disclaimer: I don’t own Mission Impossible, the Mission Impossible franchise, or anything associated with it.)

 

Cas knew he’d never forget that New Year’s. Thinking back on it, he remembered almost everything in vivid detail… well, one thing most of all.

He’d begged his mother to let him and Anna stay with the Winchesters for New Year’s. Their cousins would be out partying, he’d argued. And Anna and Cas hadn’t seen Sam and Dean for the entire visit… Chuck had insisted on “family time.” Maybe Becky was a good influence on him, Castiel had thought. He really was showing much more interest in him and Anna. Sometimes he actually called Naomi and asked how they were doing.

But custody ended New Year’s Eve, in the afternoon. Usually Naomi would have stuck them in the car and started driving, but Cas and Anna had begged and she’d given in.

Mary answered the door.

“Castiel! Anna! It’s so great to see you!” She engulfed them both in a giant hug. Cas smiled and Anna giggled, hugging back.

John smiled and shoved his hands in his jean pockets. “Welcome to the party, you two.”

“It’s so great to be here,” Anna enthused.

Sam came bounding down the stairs. He was wearing moose-print pajamas and a grin. “Anna!”

“Sam!” She crushed him in a hug. “I missed you so much!”

Cas cleared his throat. Anna was definitely the heart-on-her-sleeve type.

“Ah, shut up,” Anna said. “You’re jelly.”

“What does that even-” Cas stopped as Dean grabbed him and hugged him tightly.

“Can’t… breathe…” Cas squeaked after a minute, squeezing back as his face turned red.

“Ha ha, sorry, it’s just… really good to see ya, Cas.” Dean’s face was practically glowing. “It’s been too long.”

“It’s not the longest we’ve gone without seeing one another,” Cas said. “It’s barely been a month…”

“Like I said…” Dean pulled back and leaned against the wall, looking a bit uncomfortable but still smiling. “Too long.”

“Yeah, way too long,” Cas agreed.

“I got a TV for Christmas,” Sam was telling Anna. “It’s in my room. We can watch the ball drop there, if you want.”

“You guys have fun,” Mary said, shaking her head slightly and smiling. “John and I are going to bed… it’s already ten.”

“See ya next year, Mom!” Dean called after her as she mounted the stairs, a reluctant John in tow.

“See ya, smartass,” she replied.

“Mom said we could eat anything we want, as long as we clean up,” Sam said to Cas and Anna. “So we can eat whatever… I know Naomi’s kinda a health nut.”

“No kidding,” Anna groaned. “I’m gonna eat chocolate and popcorn until I explode.”

“Maybe not until you explode…” Cas said.

“Shut up, Cas, you know what I mean.” Anna had taken up Dean’s nickname for Castiel as well… and he liked it. (Sometimes he wrote “Cas” on his school papers instead of Castiel, because it reminded him of Dean.)

Dean microwaved four bags of buttery popcorn and chucked two at Sam. “Take your girlfriend and go, Sammy.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sam muttered, and Anna giggled as they went from the room.

“Sweet, now we get the good TV,” Dean said. “The one in the basement is hi-def.”

“Cool.” And somehow the thought of being alone with Dean made Cas’ heart flutter… yes, it actually felt like it fluttered. And his hands started sweating and his stomach dropped, like going over an unexpected bump in the car.

“Wanna watch something?” Dean asked, grabbing the remote. He pushed the power button and nothing happened.

“Maybe they’re dead,” Dean said after pressing several buttons. He opened the back and glared at the batteries. “Sammy or somebody probably forgot to put in new ones.”

“Where are they?” Cas stood up, shedding a blanket.

“They’re in the storage room.” Dean pointed with one hand while smacking the remote on his leg with his other hand.

Cas pushed open the door and fumbled for a lightswitch, tripping over something in the darkness. He lost his balance and fell. “Ow.”

“Cas? Cas!” The light flicked on, and strong arms pulled Cas to his knees. Dean stared at him, looking more than a little scared. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Cas got his feet properly underneath himself. “Just clumsy.”

“The batteries are here,” Dean said helpfully.

“Thanks,” Cas murmured.

“So…” Dean tossed a pillow at Cas before turning to root through a pile of DVDs. “Dad got us a lot of action movies for Christmas… you into action?”

“I like action.” Cas leaned back on the pillow, wincing as his bruised elbow hit the floor.

“How about… the new Mission Impossible?”

“Sure,” Cas said. “I haven’t seen it yet.”

So they watched it, Dean making commentary the entire time, but Cas didn’t mind… it was pretty funny. He complained a lot during the scene with the foreign opera… he said the entire movie would have been improved if it was a rock concert instead, with a gun disguised as an electric guitar or a drumstick.

After, Dean showed Cas how to play Call of Duty, and Cas got his ass kicked. But he honestly didn’t mind at all… Dean’s gleeful laughs made up for the wounds to his pride.

At 11:45, Dean switched to a news channel streaming from New York City.

“Even out in Kansas, people watch this?” Cas teased.

“Believe it or not, we’re not much different from you Easterners.” Dean said this in an exaggerated Southern accent, and Cas snorted, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Dean started dozing five minutes from midnight. Cas shook him lightly, and Dean muttered something under his breath and leaned heavily on Cas’ shoulder.

Cas flushed. “Dean… c’mon, wake up. The countdown’s going to start soon.”

“You’re warm,” Dean murmured.

“Dean,” Cas complained, blushing even more. “Come on, seriously.”

“Ugh… fine.” Dean sat up slightly and rubbed his eyes. “I need some coffee.”

“No, we should go to sleep after the ball drops.” Cas slung half his blanket over Dean’s legs. “Sorry, this is the only one we’ve got.”

“I don’t mind sharing,” Dean said, sounding a little more awake.

“Good,” Cas said, averting his gaze. Something about their close proximity made him feel equal parts uncomfortable and giddy.

“Thirty seconds,” said the woman on the screen.

“Hey Cas,” Dean said. His voice sounded different somehow, but Cas couldn’t specify how so.

Cas turned his head to look at him, but Dean was staring fixedly at the television. Cas’ eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, Dean?”

“I, uh…” Dean scratched the back of his neck. “I imagined this going a bit differently, you know, in my head, but… uhm…”

“Ten, nine, eight-”

Cas blinked at him. “What?”

“-six, five, four-”

Dean finally turned to look at him, eyes bright in the flickering light of the TV. They locked gazes.

“Dean?”

“-two, one-”

“What are you-” Cas stammered as Dean leaned in-

And then Dean kissed him, and the year was new, and it was sweet and soft and magical.

It was shaping up to be a great year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had some MAJOR trouble getting the art that's supposed to be here right into the fic itself, so the art and story are separate for now. Link for this chapter's art:
> 
>  
> 
> [http://young-wild-mildly-insane.tumblr.com/post/152068106139/½-amazing-art-by-umithinkyes-for-my-dcbb-story](http://young-wild-mildly-insane.tumblr.com/post/152068106139/%C2%BD-amazing-art-by-umithinkyes-for-my-dcbb-story)  
> 


	6. Back To Reality

Cas had expected things to get awkward the next morning, but it wasn’t. Dean didn’t treat him any different… except for he took Cas’ hand once and asked how he slept.

Saying that Cas was ecstatic was the understatement of the year (though it was only the first day of the year, so Cas guessed there’d be time for more.)

“Mom said she’d be here at about eight,” Anna reminded Cas as she opened the fridge for the milk.

“Yeah, I remember.” Cas brought out two bowls and handed one to Dean as he came up the stairs to the kitchen.

“Your mom is awesome,” Anna said to Dean as she poured a heaping bowl of Cocoa Puffs and drowned them in milk.

“Yeah, at least she lets us eat sugary crap like that.” Dean grinned. 

At 7:45, Cas had pulled Dean aside: “Can we go to the basement for a second?”

“Sure, Cas.” Dean followed him down the stairs and reached for the lightswitch. “What’s up?”

“Dean… was last night… real?”

Dean flicked the light on and turned to stare at Cas. “Huh?”

“Was it… do you… are you… attracted to me?” Cas stared Dean directly in the eye, voice getting more intense towards the end of the sentence. 

“Yeah, ‘course I am.” Dean gave him one of his trademark crooked smiles, face flushing. “I wouldn’t’ve kissed you otherwise.”

“Good.”

As Cas moved closer, Dean’s smirk fell from his face. “Wh-”

Cas grabbed his waist, shoved him up against the wall, and planted his lips on Dean’s, stifling whatever he was about to say. Dean’s hands fluttered at his sides for a moment before moving to rest on Cas’ chest, then up to his shoulders. Cas was a bit inexperienced, but he moved passionately and Dean seemed to be enjoying himself.

After a (very) long moment, Cas broke away, keeping his thumbs hooked through two of Dean’s belt loops. Dean opened his eyes three quarters of the way and gazed at Cas, panting slightly. Cas broke into a grin after a minute.

“What was that?” Dean asked. “I mean, not that it wasn’t great, but…”

“Payback, for surprising me last night.” 

Dean laughed and grabbed Cas’ hands, yanking him into a hug.

“Call me if you need to talk, or beat somebody up, ‘kay?” Dean said.

“I will,” Cas promised, as he always did.

“So are we… going out?” Dean asked after a minute.

“I’d love to go out with you,” Cas replied.

“Great,” Dean said softly. “I was just worried-”

“I told you I was gay,” Cas interrupted. “Do I really need to spell it out further?”

“No… I was being a moron.”

“Yeah, but you’re _my_ moron now.”

Cas was about to go in for another kiss when somebody cleared their throat.

“Hey…” Sam coughed again. “Bad time?”

“Umm… a bit, yeah.” Dean’s face was bright red. 

Anna peeked out from behind Sam as Cas and Dean moved apart. “What’re you two-”

“Your mom’s here, Cas,” Sam interrupted her. “She said you have to go, right now.”

“Thanks, Sam, we’ll be up in a sec.” Dean and Sam shared a special sort of look and Sam took Anna by the arm, towing her back upstairs.

“You think Sam’ll…?”

Dean shook his head. “I’ll talk to him. But, I mean, we can’t keep our family in the dark anyways. It’d never work.”

“But my mom-”

“My dad, too,” Dean assured him. “Just… we can’t keep secrets from family. It’d bite us in the ass, sooner or later.”

“You’re right,” Cas sighed. He kissed Dean, but kept it chaste, because he knew he had to leave. “Message me tomorrow night, we’re staying in a hotel tonight.”

“February break, I’ll take you out,” Dean promised. “A real date, face to face.”

“That sounds nice,” Cas said.

“You know somethin’ funny?”

“What?”

“I’ve known you for most of my life, loved you like a brother the whole time.” Dean looked awkward but kept on going. “Now, we’re more than family, and it’s… not   
weird, you know?”

“It’s like we were meant for this,” Cas agreed, taking Dean’s hand in his.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough chick flick moments for me.” Dean squeezed Cas’ hand and backed away. “Let’s get you up there before your mom comes down.”

So they mounted the steps, holding onto one another for the last time in a while, and they were okay with that. It wouldn’t be that awful… they could still talk and all.   
Cas waved goodbye and Dean blew him a kiss, grinning rakishly, and Cas laughed.

February wasn’t far off.


	7. Trouble

Talking to Dean became the high point of Cas’ day. Everything else… sucked.

Anna was soaring in middle school. She got easy As, and Naomi and Tim praised her to no end. She asked Cas constantly why his grades were so low… sometimes she said maybe Naomi was right about him! It became harder and harder to keep his anger in check. He simply said to her: “Wait until you get to high school. You’ll see.”

And it didn’t help that Cas was taking the most difficult classes, though he certainly didn’t feel like he belonged there. Sophomore year was going terribly. All of his grades were in the 80s and he was okay with them, maybe even proud, so why was Naomi so upset at him? It was exhausting.

Tim cared less about Cas’ grades and more about his fitness. Tim made countless comments on Cas’ skinniness. He made Cas go to the gym with him three times a week and watched him from the machine as he benchpressed 300 pounds. Cas hated it. He didn’t want to be more muscular or anything… he thought he was fine the way he was.

“Don’t listen to him,” Dean had typed one night. “He’s a jerk. So he has muscles - so what? You’re great, Cas.”

Cas had thanked him, but even so, the gym visits continued.

He was hungry a lot, but Naomi wouldn’t let him eat whenever he wanted. “It’s unhealthy,” she’d said. And they barely ever ate anything like steak or chicken anymore… unless Tim insisted, of course. Naomi always listened to Tim. But Tim went along with her whole “no dairy, no wheat” diet… she claimed it was healthier. Cas missed normal food… all Naomi bought was stuff like almond milk and tapioca bread.

Cas wished it was just pressure from his family that bothered him, but no. That was, quite honestly, the beginning of his troubles.

Chuck had decided to serve Naomi again… and Cas was going to testify.

“I don’t want to influence your decision,” Naomi had told Cas. “Tell the judge the truth, and we’ll get through this.” 

Anna had also volunteered to testify, mostly, Cas guessed, because she wanted to be brave. Cas didn’t like it at all, but he couldn’t say anything because it was her  
choice. The court date was in June.

Besides that, there was also the regular pressures of school: homework, upcoming finals, studying… and Crowley.

Crowley had chosen to ignore Cas’ statement about shutting his mouth and over Christmas break had managed to inform every student (and some teachers) about Cas’ sexual preferences. Cas had said he didn’t care, to be intimidating, but it was bothersome and people had started avoiding him like the plague because of it. 

“Isn’t this the 21st century?” Cas said loudly to a friend. “Why is this a big fricking deal all of a sudden?”

“I wish I lived with you,” he wrote to Dean one night. Dean, for some reason, wasn’t on the chatroom they always used that night, so he’d decided to email him. “I wish we were roommates, or neighbors, or something. I hate being away from you. Anna’s always so perfect, and next to her, I feel like a failure…”

“Naomi is always talking badly about you,” Cas typed, and sat back and sighed. “She insults you and berates you, and I hate it because I think she knows it hurts me.”

Dean replied the next day, apologizing he couldn’t talk “live” because his dad made him take a job at the mechanic’s. “It’s insane around here,” he wrote. “And Cas?  
Don’t let her bother you. I doubt she even knows it bothers you, and if she does, she’s a bitch.”

“I feel horrible, not standing up for you, Dean,” Cas typed. “I feel like I’m betraying you.”

The next day he got a reply. “Cas? Don’t. You’re not betraying me, you’re not hurting me, okay? I understand. Standing up to your parents is damn hard, especially if your parents have told you your entire life to be quiet. And I worry about you, Cas. From what you tell me about Tim, he seems like a dangerous guy to piss off. My best advice is to keep your head down. Let Anna take up the spotlight… Be strong, and be yourself, because you’re awesome.”

Cas didn’t tell Dean about school much. He didn’t mention Crowley or how people whispered insults to him in the halls. Dean would only get upset and blame himself…

“I can’t wait to see you,” Cas typed. 

“And I you,” Dean replied.

“So, which class are you reading Shakespeare for?”

Dean typed a smiley face. “English. You know me so well.”

“True.” Cas smiled.

Very true.

He taped another picture in his notebook by the light of his laptop, a selfie Dean had sent him and he had printed out at school. Dean was smiling and winking, making a peace sign with one hand and an “I love you” symbol with the other. Cas smoothed it down and smiled, shutting the notebook with a snap.


	8. IB - The Fight, Capital "F"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mature language.

"I want a plan, Castiel,” Naomi said, gaze intense. "I'm tired of you slacking off. It's time for you to take charge of your life, instead of me having to.”

Tim stood behind her, watching. He always watched when he wasn't yelling. Cas felt a surge of hatred towards the man. What gave him the right to try and run Castiel's life, when he wasn't even his father? But of course, Cas would never say anything like that… 

"If you don't want to live by my rules, then you can get the hell out of my house,” Naomi said. Castiel was taken aback… Naomi had never sworn at him before. (He also refrained from mentioning that technically, it was Tim's house.)

Cas clenched his hands into fists. He was tired being quiet and taking everything silently. Like he always did when he felt weak, he thought of what Dean would do.

“Sit down, Castiel.” Cas hadn't realized that he'd stood. Her voice got louder. "Castiel Shurley, sit down this instant!”

Tim looked nervous. “Naomi, I think you need to-”

Naomi wheeled on him, eyes ablaze. “Tim, if you tell me to calm down right now I swear to God-”

Cas was still standing.

"Castiel, sit down,” Naomi snapped, not even looking at him. “Let's talk this out like adults.”

"I don't feel like you're being very adult right now, Mother,” Castiel said, hands trembling almost as much as his voice.

That got Naomi's attention. She turned and stared at him. "What??”

“Are you talking back to your mother, young man?” Tim said.

“No,” Castiel said, putting as much sarcasm into his voice as he could. “But I should remind you: you said if I couldn't live by your rules I could, how did you phrase it?   
Get out.”

Naomi looked like she'd been slapped. Obviously, she hadn’t expected Castiel to speak at all. But Tim was angry.

“Don't speak that way to your mother and father, Castiel.”

Cas, surprising himself, snapped: “You're not my father.”

Tim’s mouth dropped open. Naomi looked scandalized. Her expression went from rage to flat and calm, which actually scared Castiel even more than her anger.

"Get out,” she said.

Castiel blinked at her.

"You heard me," she yelled, facade shattering. “Get the fuck out!”

Cas got. He heard Tim talking to Naomi in a placating tone, and Naomi screamed something, but the roaring in his ears drowned it all out. Cas grabbed his backpack   
from the floor and yanked his sneakers on, not bothering to tie the laces. He made sure to slam the door behind him.

He heard the door open behind him as he started down the driveway. "You realize, if you leave now, you’re never coming back.” 

Castiel didn't look back when he heard Tim’s voice. "I know. That's why I'm leaving.”

“Where are you going?”

“The library,” Cas said without thinking. Of course he’d go to the library… he felt safe there. But why did he even tell Tim? He was still scared of him, that’s why. Cas   
walked out of the driveway, fuming at himself, and Naomi, and Tim, and the world.

He took inventory at the library, because he felt safe there. In his backpack he had his school books, his emergency cell phone, his notebook, and a small package of trail mix. He would have gone inside the library, but it was, unfortunately, closed. So he sat by the side of the building faced away from the parking lot and tried to calm himself down. Things had escalated… much too quickly. He hadn’t wanted that to happen… he only wanted to stand up for himself for a change. But it was too late now.

He assumed Naomi would come get him after a while. And honestly, he was too scared to leave the library… it was a comfort, and if Naomi came and he wasn’t there, she might call the police…

So he sat outside and did his homework as the sky grew darker and darker. He knew none of his friends lived anywhere nearby, so he had nowhere to stay. Cas walked around the library a couple times, looking for a place to sleep… he tried laying down in the grass, but it was too uncomfortable and he was too restless. 

“Dean,” he said aloud. If he could get somewhere with reception, he could call Dean. Maybe… maybe Dean would know what to do. Because Cas was scared: too scared to go back to the house, too scared to come up with a plan. He tried to keep a level head but he couldn’t believe it: he was… free. Nobody could tell him what to do, when to sleep… but it was terrifying and incredible, at the same time.

It was dark and getting cold. He needed to find somewhere with reception.

Cas tried to turn on the phone only to discover it was dead. “Dammit,” he muttered. Make that somewhere with a phone. But who? He lived in a rural area… who was   
around that he could-

_Charlie,_ he thought. He didn’t know her very well, but she lived about a mile away. She probably had a phone. 

Armed with his plan, he walked. It was a long walk, longer than he’d anticipated, and it was pitch black by the time he spotted her place. He only knew it from the bus route. His legs were burning, his backpack was heavy, and he was tired… he had to call Dean.

Only when he paused at the front door did he wonder how Charlie’s family would react.

_Too late now, he thought, knocking._

An unfamiliar man answered it. “Who are you?”

Cas almost panicked, but he let words spill out of his mouth. “Hi, my name’s Castiel. I was just in the neighborhood and I was wondering if I could talk to Charlie? We’re doing a project together.”

The man blinked, appearing to be sizing him up. Then, blessedly, he moved from the doorway. “Char! There’s someone here to see ya!” 

Cas stepped inside, sighing at the warmth. The man, probably Charlie’s father, pointed him down the hall. “Second door on the left.”

“Thank you,” Cas said.

Charlie was immersed in some sort of video game, huge headphones set over her ears. She glanced up at him, looked back to her game, then did a double-take. She   
yanked her headphones off. “Castiel??”

“Um, yeah.” Cas shifted, cheeks coloring slightly. “I told your dad I was here for a project.”

“But we’re not-” She stopped, realization dawning. “Something’s wrong. What happened?”

“My mom, she… kicked me out.”

“What?!” Charlie paused her game and stood. 

“We… sort of had an argument, and she told me to get out, so I got out,” Cas stammered, tripping over his words a couple times. 

“Wow, I’m sorry.” She looked sorry, too.

“I, uhm… I need a phone. I need to call a friend of mine… see if he can help me.”

Charlie nodded several times, almost like a bobblehead. “Yeah, of course, sure.” She picked up a landline phone and offered it to him. “Take all the time you need.”

“You can go back to your game, if you want,” Cas said after an awkward moment of her staring at him.

“Oh, yeah. Right.” She sat down, refocusing on her screen.

Cas dialed Dean’s number and put the phone to his ear. After a couple of rings, there was a click.

“Hello?”

“Dean.” Cas sighed with relief.

“Who’s this?”

“It’s me, Cas,” Cas said.

“Cas?!” A rustling noise. “How… where are you calling from?”

“A… friend’s house.” Cas looked at Charlie.

“Why? Doesn’t your mom have you on lockdown until your grades go up?”

“She did… until she kicked me out…” Cas chewed on his upper lip.

“Holy shit,” Dean breathed. “Cas, what the hell happened…?”

“She was lecturing me about my grades… as usual.” Cas nearly cracked a smile. “I, for once, voiced my feelings on the matter, and she told me to “get out.””

Dean was silent for a minute. Then: “Woah, Cas, way to stick it to the man! Or, you know, mom.”

“Thanks…”

“Dude, that totally blows.” Dean’s sigh was audible even through the phone. “Shit, I wish we lived closer. I’d freakin’ steal Dad’s car and come get you.”

“I wish that as well,” Cas said.

“Are you gonna go back?” Dean asked.

Cas had to stop and think before answering. “I don’t know. I don’t have anywhere to stay.”

“Can you stay at your friend’s house?”

Cas partially turned away from Charlie. “She’s more of an acquaintance…”

“She? She’s a chick? Ah, okay. No, then.” Dean growled. “Dammit, Cas.”

Sigh. Cas leaned up against the wall. “I don’t know what to do…”

“I dunno…” Dean huffed. “You should probably go home, if you can. Think your mom’d go mental?”

“Yeah,” Cas said.

“I could call the police,” Dean offered.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“If you had somewhere you could stay, I bet I could convince my dad to drive me over to you. We could be there in a day, tops, if we left now.”

Cas sighed. “Dean… there’s nothing I’d love more than that. But… I have nowhere to stay, and… if my father hears about this…”

“Shit, yeah. Straight back to Courtville.”

“My life is so fucked up…”

“This truly is an amazing night,” Dean said.

“Huh?”

“You dropped the f-bomb.”

“Dean,” Cas said in his “not pertaining to this conversation” voice.

“Just kiddin’,” Dean said. “So… what do you think?”

Cas ran a hand through his hair with one hand. “Honestly, my only option is to go home. I can… I can sleep in the living room, catch the bus in the morning…”

“Guess that’s your best bet.” Dean made a sort of grumbling noise. “I wish I could be there right now, bring you home and…”

“Me too…” Cas shivered. “I’m going to leave, now. Thanks, Dean.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes, you did. You’re here for me.”

“Not enough to help you,” Dean said.

“You are,” Cas insisted. 

Dean laughed lightly. “Walk safe, Cas.”

“I will.”

“And call, tell me how it pans out,” Dean added.

“I will… talk to you soon, Dean.”

“Bye.” 

The dial tone was a horrible sound.

“So?” Charlie asked. 

“I’m going home,” Cas said, voice low. 

“Are you-” Charlie seemed to catch herself. “Do you need a ride?”

Cas smiled. “No, but thank you.”

“No problem.”

Cas gave Charlie’s dad the politest smile he could muster on his way to the door. “Thank you, sir.”

“Don’t you need a ride? Did your parents drop you off?” her mom asked.

“I can walk,” Cas said. “But thanks.” He left before anyone could object.

His stomach was weighed with dread as he approached his front porch. He removed his house key from his backpack and unlocked the door, slipping inside as quietly as he could.

Cas was headed to the closet to deposit his jacket when he heard a creak. He turned to see a figure in the shadows - 

“It’s late,” Naomi said.

“I noticed,” Cas replied.

Naomi said nothing at that, flicking on a light. “Why did you stay away so long?”

All of Cas’ words caught in his throat except one: “What?”

“You should have come home,” she said. “I was worried sick.”

“But y-” Cas stopped.

“I what?”

“...Nothing,” Cas murmured, eyes downcast. He was exhausted, and knew arguing with his mother would only make things worse.

“Go to sleep,” Naomi said. “Tim will drive you and Anna into school.”

“Can’t I take the bus?” 

“No.”

Cas wordlessly turned and mounted the stairs. He felt ashamed, and angry at himself for feeling ashamed. Naomi was at fault here… wasn’t she?

He fell asleep quickly, dreading waking up.


	9. Midterms

It was bad luck and bad timing, but Chuck’s annual visit to New Hampshire was the weekend before midterms. Cas brought his books and studied as best he could, but honestly couldn’t maintain concentration for very long. He went into his first midterm that Tuesday knowing he’d do his best… but his best might not be good enough.

One grueling week later, he was still passing all his classes, but he’d failed several of his midterms. His World History grade was down to an 81… but that was his lowest grade. Naomi, however, took a different approach.

The “incident,” as she called it, was several months in the past, but it had changed things. Since he’d left the house, Naomi was slower to speak against him, and often she’d let him do things he wanted. She got angrier much more often, but always smoothed things over quickly. Cas knew why… it was to keep herself out of trouble with Chuck. She knew Cas held the power: he could tell Chuck about their fallout and, armed with that information, Chuck might very well get custody in the upcoming court case. Cas hated to think that way, but it was true.

Tim was meaner, as well. He doubled the gym days each week because he said Cas was “too skinny” and he “needs some muscles.” Cas hated going to the gym more than anything, mostly because he ran into Crowley there several times. Tim was always conveniently not around, and Crowley and his minions taunted and laughed at Cas. 

Anna had changed as well. She’d told him she wished he hadn’t come back that night, because they might have been able to go to the Winchesters’, which would’ve been great because Naomi and Tim were awful. Cas refrained from pointing out that Anna had been practically falling at their feet to be the perfect daughter, but he was glad to have somebody on his side besides Dean.

He kept up his regular correspondence with Dean, talking for hours every night. He went to school tired every morning, but he never once regretted it. Cas counted the days until Spring Break in his planner.

Cas was… so tired. He had to go the the gym four times a week, do homework late into the night, sit and take whatever Naomi and Tim said to him, and somehow find time to work on his writing. On top of all that, he was working on an application to a writing camp in Kansas… his hope was to apply and get Chuck to pay the fees, and stay with the Winchesters at night if he could. And he’d convinced Dean to try out as well, though Dean dragged his feet… But he kept that all a secret from Naomi and Tim… they didn’t need to know.

“I miss you so damn much, Dean,” he wrote one night. “I hate this, counting down the freaking days until I see you. I want to graduate, get out of here, so I can be with you. My mom… she doesn’t get it. She thinks we’re just friends. But she’s wrong. We’re family, and you’re-” Cas had to stop and think, biting his lip before continuing. “-you’re the most important person in the world to me.”

Dean’s response, via email, was prompt. “I miss you like hell, too, Cas. Dad’s back on the beer again and Mom’s threatening to move out. Even Sammy’s grades are dropping because we can’t get a minute’s peace ‘round here. I can’t wait to see you… to be honest, Cas, sometimes I feel like I live for the times we’re together. And it’s all so much better because we’re together. Not only friends, like before.”

“Naomi’s taking us to Florida over Winter Break,” Cas told Dean. “I’m not so pumped about going… I know all Tim and Naomi will do is make me do exercise tapes and give me the “You’re The Disappointment To This Family” look when I put on my swimsuit. And Anna’s a fricking twig. I really hate it!”

Dean’s reply made Cas blush, even though it was already very hot under the covers. “Cas, all I can say is that I think you’re damned hot. I would know, I have extremely good taste. You, my friend, have what they call _sex appeal._ Who cares what they think? They’re pissy old health freaks, and I’m sure Anna just drinks it up. How’s your writing thing going?”

“I’ve finished with my first draft,” Cas typed in the chat bar, hoping Dean was online. “Editing it now. The deadline’s in two weeks… how’s yours going?”

Cas was never happier to see the three typing dots that indicated Dean was writing back. “It’s ok… I still don’t know why you want me to do this, Cas…”

“Because you’re a good writer, now shut up,” Cas replied.

“I’m really not…”

“Might I remind you of that song you wrote me?”

Cas could tell Dean was flustered when the dots flashed in and out several times. “That’s not… CAS!!! I thought you said you wouldn’t tease me… :(”

“It was beautiful, and you’re a talented writer, and you can’t change my mind about it.” Cas remembered it like it was yesterday… Dean had sent him a recording of himself playing the guitar and singing. He’d written Cas a song… Cas was thrilled. He’d thought that only happened in books. He teased Dean endlessly about it, mostly because whenever he thought of it, his heart fluttered and he smiled like a dope.

“Shut up,” Dean shot back. “If you must know, I’m almost done with it.”

“I’m so excited,” Cas wrote. “I hope we both get in.”

“I hope your stupid dad pays for it.”

“I’m sure he will,” Cas typed, only half-lying. He’d asked and Chuck had said, “we’ll see,” which Cas thought was a hell of a lot better than “no."

“He better, or I’ll beat him up and shake him down for change.”

“I hope you’re joking, Dean.”

“Yep.” Pause. “Mostly.”

“I miss you,” Cas typed again, mostly because he was tired and he didn’t know what else to say.

“Hell, Cas, I miss you too.”

Cas checked the time on the bottom right of his screen. 11:17. “Dean, I should go. I need to sleep, or I’ll be a zombie at school tomorrow.”

“We should go to college together,” Dean replied.

Huh? Cas reread the message. “That was random,” he typed back.

“But we should,” Dean typed almost immediately. “It would be awesome. We could go to the University of Kansas together.”

“That would be pretty sweet…”

“We could live together, Cas!”

“Okay, that does sound amazing.” Cas had never even thought of that. 

“We can share a dorm, and we can visit my Mom and Dad on vacations. Cas, it’d be perfect!”

“It would take a lot of planning…” Cas thought hard about it… it could work. It really could! And he could be with Dean as much as he wanted.

“It’d be worth it.”

“Yes, it would.”

Cas yawned, covering his mouth with one hand. “Dean, I need sleep…”

“I know, ya wimp.”

“Hey, you’ve got a couple hours on me!”

“I know, I know… ‘night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas tacked on a smiley face and two hearts for good measure before closing out of the window. He stowed the laptop under his mattress and fell asleep, dreaming of college and Dean.


	10. Together Again

(Disclaimer: I don’t own Paradise by Coldplay or Everything by Lifehouse. Don’t sue me!)

 

Cas wrote like a madman on the drive to Kansas in April. He churned out a series of poems, but they all seemed so sappy or too cheesy, so he stuck them all in his “edit” folder. Anna was absorbed in a season of her favorite show, and Naomi was on her fourth cup of coffee. Tim had to stay in New Hampshire, for work, but he’d made Cas and Anna promise to call him every day. 

Things had settled down at home, though not by much. Everyone was on good terms, and Naomi didn’t even mention the “incident” more than once a week, if that. Cas had hit the books, and though his Latin grade had dropped at first (he’d bombed a quiz right off the bat), all of his grades were doing well. He even had an A in Chemistry, which surprised nobody more than him.

He pushed his earbuds deep into his ears and set his songs on shuffle. Cas leaned up against the window and stared out at the dark sky. Few cars flashed by, and Cas closed his eyes and thought (as always) of Dean. He fell asleep to Coldplay.

_“So lying underneath those stormy skies, she said oh, I know the sun must set to rise… this could be paradise…”_

~

The day with Chuck was long and exhausting. Chuck and Becky were both overly cheery, avoiding the topic of the upcoming court date like the Black Plague… not that  
either he or Anna had been brave enough to talk about it.

Cas picked at his dinner, and when Chuck asked him what was wrong, Cas faked a smile and shook his head, unable to speak. Becky piped up about how Chuck was going to take her to Italy in August, and didn’t Castiel and Anna want to come? Cas shrugged and smiled again, squeezing Anna’s hand under the table as it trembled. He felt a surge of anger at Chuck and had to excuse himself from the table.

Naomi gave him a tight smile as they pulled up to the Winchesters’. “Have fun.” 

Cas felt bad, leaving her alone at the hotel. “Do a spa thing or something… I read in the brochure there’s a free breakfast buffet,” he said, hugging her. He knew this was hard for her as well, worrying about him and Anna and dealing with Chuck harassing her for custody almost every day…

“You have fun,” she repeated, kissing Anna on the top of her head and starting up the car. She drove away, weaving slightly on the road.

Anna bounded past him to the door, putting off her sleepiness and stress because Sam! She got to see Sam! She banged on the door, and Cas followed her, clearing the top step just as the door opened.

“Anna, Castiel, it’s so good to see you!” The siblings were engulfed in a Mary Winchester hug, which smelled sweet.

“Are you baking something?” Anna asked as they moved into the mudroom.

“Sugar cookies,” Mary said. “Sharp nose.”

Sam shot down the stairs and plowed into Anna, picking her up and swinging her in two circles. She squealed with laughter and smacked his shoulder. “Sammm!”

“Hey, Anna,” he said, grinning widely. 

Cas shook his boots off, and was turning for his bag when somebody’s warm hands covered his eyes. “Guess who?” A body pressed into his back.

“Hm, hard one,” Cas said. “John?”

“I’m not that short, son,” came John’s deep voice.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said.

“Heya, Cas.” Dean took his hands away and spun Cas around to face him. Cas stared deep into Dean’s green eyes and felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him. So he did… on the cheek. He pulled back and smiled shyly.

“Told you,” he heard Anna say under her breath to Sam. “Pay up.”

“Hey, you took _bets_?!” Dean sputtered, face burning. He didn’t, however, let go of Cas.

“I thought you’d kiss him first,” Sam admitted, pulling a fiver from his pocket and handing it to Anna.

Mary moved from the room, smiling. “Anybody who wants to help cook, can.”

“Thanks, Mrs… Mary,” Cas said.

John barely acknowledged Dean and Cas’ moment, trudging into the garage. Sam and Anna went down the stairs to the basement, Anna bragging and Sam  
complaining. Cas turned to Dean. “Did your dad… know?”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, it came up in conversation. We don’t really talk about it… What about your mom and dad?”

Cas snorted. “Dean, when I told my mom I thought a boy was cute in seventh grade, the only thing that stopped her from dragging me to church and having me blessed or whatever was Tim.” Cas paused, thinking. “And Tim only objected because I had school.”

“Oh,” Dean said, face blank.

“I hate keeping secrets… okay, scratch that,” Cas corrected himself. “I’m fine with keeping secrets from my mom and stepdad, but I don’t want… us… to be a secret.”

“Me neither.”

“I mean, I know it’s only been a few months,” Cas chattered, “But I think that we’ll last a long time, and I… I don’t…”

“Hey, Cas, it’s okay,” Dean said. “I get it. Tell them when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready…” Cas sighed. “They’re not.”

“Here, come with me.” Dean took Cas by the hand. “I’ve got something I want to show you.”

Cas followed him, flashing back to the first time Dean showed him the rooftop. But Dean was leading him upstairs, towards his room. Dean closed the door behind them.

“Oh, Dean,” Cas said in a mock-nervous voice. “You’re very forward…”

“Ah, shuddup, Cas.” Dean grinned and shoved one of Cas’ shoulders. Cas fell back onto Dean’s bed.

“Rude,” Cas huffed, more teasing than serious.

Dean turned to his dresser and picked up his guitar.

“That’s really cool,” Cas said, looking at the stickers Dean had put on the instrument. “The lightning bolt looks awesome.”

“I like the clockwork.” Dean sat down in a chair and turned it to face Cas. “It makes it look all sci-fi.”

Cas was about to respond when Dean strummed the guitar, starting a slow twang and turning to softer chords, before he started singing.

_“Find me here, and speak to me… I want to feel you, I need to hear you. You are the light, that's leading me, to the place, where I find peace… again.”_

Cas was startled by Dean’s sudden shift in mood, and listened to him sing, hanging onto every word.

_“You calm the storms, and you give me rest...You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall… You steal my heart, and you take my breath away…”_

The mood of the song changed from soft to passionate, and it brought tears to Cas’ eyes. Dean had glanced up at him once in awhile, but now his eyes were closed in concentration.

_“You're all I want, you're all I need, You're everything, everything… And how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be, any better than this?”_

The song softened again:

_“Would you tell me, how could it be, any better than this…?”_

Dean stopped, and they were both silent for a moment, the last of the song hanging between them like ice waiting to be shattered.

Dean cleared his throat. He took the guitar off his lap and swiveled his chair to replace it. Before turning back, he said, “So… um. Did you… like it?”

Cas couldn’t respond. When Dean turned around, all he could do is fling himself onto Dean’s lap and throw his arms around his neck. 

“Hey, hey, Cas… Cas? Are you… crying?”

“No,” Cas sniffed, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck.

“Did it really suck that bad?” Dean’s voice was trying to sound joking, but it was equal parts nervous and concerned, and Cas clutched a fistful of his shirt in one hand and burrowed closer to him.

“No, it was… incredible.” Cas spoke into Dean’s shoulder. “It’s… I missed you so freaking much. And I… have to leave tomorrow morning. And the morning after. And in a few days I have to go back to New Hampshire, and go through months of crap until I can see you again.”

“Hey, Cas, it’ll be okay,” Dean soothed him. He wheeled the chair over to his bed and lifted Cas onto the comforter, following him and wrapping his arms around him to keep Cas upright. “We still have this time, right? Let’s just… enjoy it. As much as we can. And hey… we might go to the writing camp together, right? We’ve got a shot. And college? We’ve got all that time ahead of us. Okay?”

“Okay.” Cas nodded, mostly to appease Dean. 

“I bet my mom would be okay with us sleeping here tonight,” Dean said. “She let Sammy and Anna sleep in Sam’s room once.”

“Yeah, but they’re not dating.”

Dean grinned. “So? It’s not like we’re going to have sex with my entire family in the building.”

“Unless you can be really quiet,” Cas said, pushing gently away from Dean.

“Wait, wh- y- Cas, you-” Dean squinted at Cas. “You’re screwing with me, aren’t you…?”

“Yeah,” Cas admitted. “But, I mean, if you reeeally want to…”

“Cas!”

Cas laughed, throwing his head back, and Dean joined him after a minute.

~

“Hey, Dean?”

“Hm?” Dean shut his laptop. The clock on the wall read 3:48 AM. The room was dark.

“I… really like you,” Cas said. It was easier to say in the dark, because he knew Dean couldn’t see him and he couldn’t see Dean.

“Cas… me too,” Dean said after a moment’s pause. “I know people might think we’re rash, or stupid, to say we feel this way about each other after just a couple months of dating…”

“Nobody knows but your parents,” Cas reminded him. 

“I know,” Dean said, rolling over to face Cas. His green eyes glimmered in the tiny bit of moonlight coming into the room under the curtains. “But… people always say that long-distance relationships never work. They’re wrong. We work, Cas. We’ll always work.”

“I know,” Cas said. 

Dean’s eyes closed for a minute, then opened. “Hey, Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“Turn over,” Dean said. 

“What?”

“Turn over on your other side.”

Cas complied. As soon as he was situated, Dean’s arm slid over his shoulder, then went down to his waist, pulling them closer together. Cas took Dean’s hand and held it to his chest.

“‘Night, Dean,” he whispered.

Cas had never slept a better night’s sleep.


	11. Long Road

Cas came home exhilarated, charged with creative energy and optimism. He’d scribbled out a series of poems on the drive home and, though he was too late to enter them into his school’s writing contest, he’d never felt more alive. His writing flowed, and school was held off for an extra day because of snow.

Of course, it didn’t last long.

 

The first thing Cas did when he got back to school was fail a test. Algebra II… a 35. He was lucky, though: his teacher let kids do retakes up to an 85, thank god. And that missing Latin assignment… Cas wrote in his planner to talk to his teacher about that. He didn’t remember being assigned any translations.

“I’m off to the grocery store,” Naomi said as Cas shut the front door behind himself. “How are your grades?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t checked lately,” Cas said. Honestly, the grade slipped his mind… he wasn’t that worried about it. “Have you checked?”

Naomi didn’t respond, slamming the front door behind herself. A minute later, her car pulled from the drive.

Tim was at work, and Anna was at play practice. Cas almost called Dean before remembering he was still in school, so he contented himself with blasting music and dancing. Tim had let him off the gym visits if Cas swore he’d do exercise tapes after school. Cas did them every afternoon… well, most afternoons. Two out of four.

Cas showered quickly and settled down with his homework at the dining room table. Naomi breezed in through the front door and moved to the fridge, Anna close behind.

“May I work in the basement?” Cas asked. A few times before, Naomi had let him work there. It was a bit chilly, but it allowed him to focus. (And being able to work on his writing was also a plus.)

“No,” she said.

Cas blinked before returning to his Chemistry paper. He wondered why she’d turned him down. It was probably because she was in a bad mood.

It didn’t get bad until they started packing lunches.

“Hey, where are the apples?” Anna complained.

“I bought two,” Naomi said. “Castiel?”

Cas shrugged. He’d put one in his lunch and had eaten the other less than an hour ago. 

Naomi was silent for a while, so Cas thought she’d let it go. He put his lunchbox in the fridge and turned. Naomi was staring at him.

“Why would you do that?” she asked, arms folded. “I bought two, one for each of you.”

Looking down, Cas didn’t answer.

“Why?” she asked again. “Greed?” A pause. “Answer me when I talk to you,” she said.

“Yeah,” Cas replied, tired of her asking. “Greed. Sure.”

“Don’t be difficult,” she said, turning to go upstairs.

Later, while Cas was immersed in an Algebra video, she walked by. Cas thought she was looking at his tabs open, but she dropped a kiss on his head. “Sorry,” she said.

Cas didn’t say anything, but glanced up. Yep, she was looking at his tabs.

Typical.


	12. IB - Church

The morning was gloomy. Rain poured down endlessly. Cas sighed. Even though there was a flood warning, nothing was going to keep Naomi from her precious church service. Tim, while not inherently religious, went along with it because he didn’t want to piss off Naomi. And Anna was a budding choir girl, so she loved church.

“John doesn’t make _his_ kids go to church,” Cas couldn’t help but complain as he buckled his seatbelt. It was early, and he was tired. 

Naomi muttered something under her breath while she turned the keys in the ignition.

“What?” Cas asked.

“I said, that’s probably why his boys are uneducated,” Naomi said.

“Uneducated?”

“Well, you know that Dean is bisexual, don’t you?” Naomi shuddered delicately. 

“Yes, in fact, I do,” Cas snapped. He almost added, “And so am I.”

_“What?!”_

Oops.

 

“Sorry?” Cas asked, pleasantness dripping from his voice.

“You’re…” Naomi couldn’t seem to form the words.

“You like guys?” Tim finished for her. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Cas shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m not… really… sure yet, I guess…”

Naomi hadn’t made a move to drive. She was staring at the raised door of their garage, unmoving.

“Mommy?” Cas asked. (He still hated calling her that. It felt babyish.)

“Don’t tell anyone,” she said at last.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t tell the church,” Naomi said. “It’s… wrong. They’ll… kick us out. In fact… you might want to… to… stay home.”

Cas couldn’t respond. He was dumbstruck. His mom wouldn’t let him go to church because he finally came out to her…?!?

“Naomi,” Tim said, but Cas was out of the car in a flash. He bolted inside and slammed the door to the garage shut, locking it. Peeking out the front window, he saw the car pull out of the driveway and turn left. He thought he glimpsed Anna’s red hair through the window, her face looking back… but he couldn’t tell.

_Is she right?_ Cas wondered. _It can’t be wrong… can it?_

He took one step, headed upstairs to his room.

_Dean… I love him. That’s… right, right?_

Another step. 

_She’s wrong, isn’t she?_

Cas took the rest of the stairs at a run. He swiftly unbuttoned his dress shirt and threw it on the ground, feeling unworthy of wearing it. He flung himself onto his bed, facedown. Rain poured outside his window.

_God, you haven’t forsaken me, have you? Love… it can’t be wrong. Can it?_

 

Cas, out of the blue, fell into a deep, uneasy sleep.

~

When he woke up, the rain had stopped. Outside, the sun was shining. The sky was mostly clear, and a beautiful blue. Cas sat up, disoriented.

He glanced out the window. A flash of color-

“No way,” Cas said aloud. He tore from the room, skidding on the stairs, and ran out onto his front lawn in his socks and slacks.

Cas grinned. He simply couldn’t help it. “Wish I had a camera,” he whispered.

Above the trees, the brightest rainbow Cas had ever seen shimmered in the sky. It was like God was saying _gay power to ya!_

Cas laughed, a weight lifting from his heart, and ran inside to call Dean.


	13. IB - Job Interview

All Cas did was wait. He waited and waited and waited. Dean said, “wait it out.” Cas did. But he got tired pretty quickly of just waiting. He wanted to be with Dean _now!_

Grades, as always, were an issue. Cas tried his best to keep them high, but sometimes he slipped up, and that really wasn’t his fault. Things at home were strained at best. The court case was heating up… the date was uncertain, but it was sometime in the summer. The days dragged, and Naomi became so high-strung that Cas figured that if he could take scissors to her nerves, they’d snap back and hit him in the face. He did his very best to give her a wide berth, but that proved difficult, as they lived in the same house.

 

Cas religiously chatted with Dean each night, and hadn’t been caught yet. That time remained the high point of his day. Dean informed him of Sam’s new girlfriend, Ruby, and Cas told him about Naomi’s refusal to let Cas come back to church. Dean was happy that Cas had finally told his parents but upset that Naomi was such a witch about it. Cas assured him it was alright. Sometimes neither of them could think what to say, but Cas was okay with it: sitting there, staring at the screen, knowing Dean was staring at the same screen hundreds of miles away, made him happy.

Naomi caved in and got Cas contacts, much to his surprise. Cas’d been wearing glasses since third grade. Getting the contacts in and out was a hassle for a few weeks, but Cas got the hang of it pretty quickly. At school, one of the only people who noticed was Crowley, who made a big show of it in the library around lunch… (“Oh, Castiel! I didn’t notice! I thought you’d finally combed your hair! Heavens above, your eyes… they’re so odd without your glasses!”) Cas, suffice to say, turned the volume on Pandora up even higher and studiously ignored Crowley until he left. But he didn’t tell Dean… he wanted to keep it a surprise.

It was the beginning of May when Claire approached him.

“Hey, Castiel, right?”

Cas turned. “That’s me,” he said, a bit cautious.

Claire grinned and stuck her thumbs in her belt loops. “You interested in a job?”

Drug dealer? Cas wondered. “What kind of job?”

“I work at the elementary school, with the kids who stay late,” she said. “We’ve got a position open. My friend Benny is in your English… he mentioned that you like working with children.”

Cas remembered that: Benny asked about siblings, and Cas told him about babysitting Anna after school basically every day since he was eight or nine.

“I’ll need to ask my mom,” Cas replied. “She’s kinda weird about grades and stuff.”

“Sure, okay, cool.” Claire backed away. “See ya around!”

~

“Absolutely not,” Naomi said.

“But Mom...my. Why?”

“I can’t be driving you back and forth in the afternoons,” she said. “I already have Anna’s practices to work around, plus Tim’s car is in the shop.”

“I can take the bus there,” Cas said. “And the school is only about a five minute drive. I can walk!”

“Why do you want the job so much?”

“I like kids,” Cas said. “And I want to start earning money.”

Naomi sighed. “Alright, fine.”

Cas went into school the next day and found Claire. “Hey, Claire! My mom said yes!”

“Awesome!” Claire said. “I’ll get you the paperwork within a week.”

She got it to him on Friday. Cas tucked it into his folder and vowed to look it over with his mom as soon as he could. The week after, he got his first recommendation from his teacher, but he was at a total loss of who to get the second recommendation from. He didn’t really have a wide circle of acquaintances… 

Unfortunately, Cas’ grades dipped and Naomi went mental. “You can’t do that job,” she said. “They won’t take you with such shitty grades.”

“I might have to slow up,” Cas told Claire the next day. “My mom said she might not let me…”

Claire shrugged. “Okay.”

The next day, Friday, she came up to him, smiling as usual. “Hey, Castiel, I wanted to let you know that I found a replacement!”

“Huh?” Cas’ stomach dropped to his feet.

“Yeah, he’s set up an interview and stuff,” she said. “So don’t worry about the job.”

Cas was at a loss for words. 

“I told you,” Tim said at home. “I tried to tell you to get on that paperwork. I know it’s annoying,” he said, upon seeing Cas zoning out, “but we do give you good advice.”

“Call the principal,” Naomi said, handing him her phone. “Write down what you want to say, and then leave her a message.” She and Tim talked Cas through the conversation, stressing that he should be concise and to the point.

“Hello, this is Castiel Shurley.” Cas’ hands were sweating. “I’d like to leave a message for Mrs. McKinley.”

“Hold on, I’ll switch you to the office,” the woman said.

“Oh, hello, Castiel!” came Mrs. McKinley’s friendly voice. She and Cas knew one another fairly well, since Cas had loved to be involved with Anna’s school career when she’d went to the school. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, Mrs. McKinley.” Cas looked down at the paper and the bulleted points. “I wasn’t sure if you were aware, but I was applying for a spot at the children’s program after school. I gave Claire my workers permit (which was true, Cas gave it to her a few weeks ago) as well. Today she told me that somebody else had filled the position. I’m going to bring the paperwork in on Monday, and I hope you’ll consider me for the position if it opens up in the future.”

“I didn’t know there was another spot,” Mrs. McKinley said. “Claire never gave you a date on it or anything?”

“No, she was pretty vague about it…”

“I’ll email the head of the program, Jillian, and see if we can straighten this out,” she said. “I’ll do that right now. Give the paperwork to the woman at the front desk on Monday.”

“Thank you,” Cas said. He felt like a weight was lifted from his chest.

“Not a problem. See you soon!”

“See you.” Cas hung up.

Naomi was smiling when Cas gave her phone back. “I’m glad this straightened out. We just want you to be happy.”

“I’ll go finish the paperwork,” Cas said, turning and going downstairs.

Naomi came down as Cas finished the last question. He looked up at her. “Do you know anyone I could give this other recommendation to?”

She sighed and sat down heavily in her chair. “I don’t know, Castiel. You’ve basically sprung this on us, give us some time to think, alright?”

Tim came in the front door and stood behind Naomi, massaging her temples gently. “We can always say that we’re waiting for the recommender to finish.”

Cas didn’t reply, packing the paperwork away and pulling out his AP World History homework. He mostly finished it, but decided to leave the last bit until Sunday. He packed his computer away and headed up to his room to write.

~

Nervous was one word for it. As Tim drove down the road towards the elementary school, Cas was fidgeting like mad. He had a folder in one hand with the job paperwork in it. The other hand was fiddling with the handle of the door.

“Careful, you’re gonna fall out,” Tim said. 

“Sorry,” Cas murmured, letting his hand drop. The last thing he wanted was for Tim to get upset. He knew everybody was having a tough time with everything going on…

Tim pulled into the school’s parking lot. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Cas managed a small smile and slid from the car. He went inside and stepped into the library, where he spotted the front desk. He made a beeline for it, suddenly feeling at ease. He knew everything was going to be fine from there.

The woman sitting at the front desk smiled at him. Cas was about to speak, lifting his folder, when Mrs. McKinley breezed into the room. “There you are, Castiel! Is that for me?”

“Yes,” Cas said, opening the folder. “Here’s the application, the recommendations, and the signatures.”

“Wonderful,” she replied. “I’ll bring it to Jillian right now. Sit tight for a sec.”

A minute later, a short woman walked into the library. She was looking straight at Cas, and she smiled. “Castiel, right? Here, sit. Is your mom waiting?”

“It’s my dad, and it’s fine.” Cas sat down at a table across from her and smiled.

“Your application looks wonderful,” she said. “I’d like to ask you to participate in the five-day program. It starts next week, on Tuesday.”

“I thought… didn’t somebody else interview?” Cas shifted in his chair.

Jillian shook her head. “I had an alternate lined up. From what I heard from Claire, your mom nixed the idea.”

“No, no, that’s not it! I told Claire that I might have to hit the brakes… my mom and I had a little spat, but afterwards she said it was fine.”

“Wonderful!” Jillian said. “I’ll call your mom’s number when I get a full schedule. It’s on the application, right?”

“Right.” Cas’ head was spinning at this quick turn of events.

“So, come here next Tuesday, and we’ll get you started.” Jillian stood and smiled at him. “I’ll talk to my boss, see if we have it in our budget to get you on full time.”

“I’d love that… thank you. Thank you so much!”

“See you then,” Jillian said.

“See you.”

Cas walked out the doors of the school, a huge smile on his face.


	14. Longing Love

(Disclaimer: I don’t own Longing Love by George Winston.)

 

Dean and Cas had always had a communication-based relationship. They’d been forced to, seeing as they lived hundreds of miles apart. It was easy for Cas to say “I love you” through the screen, but he’d never said it in person. “I like you” didn’t count. But Cas couldn’t think of any way to really get it across…

Ever since he was young, Cas had wanted to learn how to play piano. The guitar, too, but Dean already knew how to do that. Dean had said once that playing the piano was “girly,” and Cas was determined to prove him wrong. Or maybe even right.

“Is it okay if I play after school?” Cas had asked Tim one day in February. He had been referring to the grand piano sitting in the corner of the living room, covered with a dusty sheet. It had used to be Tim’s mom’s, but Tim was a car guy… he wasn’t musically inclined. 

“Sure, just keep the noise down,” Tim had replied.

So diligently Cas had sat down every day after school and played at least an hour on the piano, homework permitting. He borrowed a book of songs from his music teacher, Mr. Curtis, and set about learning easy songs like “Hot Cross Buns” and “Ode To Joy - Beginners.” Within a couple weeks Cas could play “Jingle Bells” on G chords. He’d kept the whole thing a secret from Dean since he’d started, because he had a plan. 

One morning in late April, a Saturday, Cas was flipping through the book. There was a small section labeled “Winston’s Finest.” Intrigued, Cas looked there, though his face fell after a moment. All the songs were really hard. Then his eyes settled on a piece: “Longing Love.”

Cas was snared. He knew, simply from looking at the music, that it was perfect.

Unfortunately, it was the hardest piece in the book.

But Cas was determined. He knew in his heart that this song was perfect for Dean and for him. All he had to do was practice.

So every day for a _month_ Cas sat at the piano for an hour or two and worked on chords, then notes, then chords and notes. By the beginning of June, he had gotten close to mastering the song, to his amazement. It lasted almost nine minutes… completely worth it. Listening to himself play it was surreal, because he’d never thought he was capable of playing even decently. But here he was, playing it decently… 

He couldn’t wait to play it for Dean.


	15. IB - Courtship (and not the romantic kind)

Cas, to say the least, was nervous. Very nervous. He had a lot to be nervous about: the upcoming court case, his grades, finding a way to sneak the computer up to his room, and writing. Plus, his job was in full swing, and he was working two or three days a week, not to mention volunteer work he needed to do for his Leadership elective.

His mom told him about the guardian ad litem a week in advance.

“She just wants to talk to you,” Naomi said. “You and Anna. She wants to know what you want. So tell her, and tell her the truth, okay?”

For a long time, Cas and Anna had been lying to both sets of parents about what they wanted, mostly because it was easiest on them. What they really wanted was more time with the Winchesters… but that meant more time with Chuck. So Anna and Cas talked about it, seriously, a few times, and decided to tell the guardian ad litem that they wanted a bit more time with Chuck, but no overnights. 

The day they were meeting the guardian, Cas got his report card. To his astonishment, his grades were good! And… he had an A- in Chemistry!

“Let’s go out after the meeting,” Tim suggested, and Anna and Cas gladly agreed.

The guardian ad litem was really nice. She asked them questions, and wrote notes down on a sheet of paper. At first it felt awkward, but after a while they were able to relax and talk normally. After their hour was up, she stood and smiled. “I think we’ve got everything we need here. If we need to talk again, I’ll take you out for dinner… here’s my card and my phone number.” She winked. “I only give my number to kids, so don’t go giving it to any adults, okay?”

Naomi stayed behind with the guardian for about ten minutes. Cas and Anna waited in the car, discussing what they wanted to get at the restaurant. After a while, Naomi came out, got in the car, and started driving.

Catching a glimpse of her face, Cas’ stomach dropped. “What? What did she say?”

“Nothing.” Naomi refused to meet his gaze.

Cas ordered a salad, and Anna ordered a bowl of soup. 

“So? How did it go?” Tim asked.

“We told her we wanted some more time,” Anna said before Cas could interject. 

They both smiled.

Naomi and Tim talked in hushed voices as the two of them split a sundae for dessert.

Outside, it was raining, hard. Wind was whipping through the trees. The drive home was dead silent. Cas didn’t know what was wrong, and neither did Anna.

Well, when Naomi started crying like the world was ending upon their return home, Anna and Cas got a bit uneasy. 

Tim stared at them, stone faced. “Your mother received a lecture from the guardian ad litem about being too stressed, and how it was affecting you two negatively.”

Anna and Cas exchanged a look. They had mentioned something like that…

“And now that you’ve decided to ask for more time, Chuck is no doubt going to bring us to court no matter what.”

“But… he can do that?” asked Anna.

“Of course!” said Tim. “He can, he will, and now Naomi will have to stand trial.”

“We didn’t… we didn’t know,” was all Cas could say.

“And now he’s going to have a legitimate claim,” Tim said, eyes flashing. “After all, he did say in his message to the judge that you two were too scared to say anything to him about wanting more time.”

“He… did?”

Tim’s jaw flexed several times. “Yes. He. Did.”

“We didn’t know!” Anna said.

“Naturally,” spat Tim.

The storm raged outside. Tim left to go to Naomi, and Cas sat with Anna in silence.

“They’re overreacting,” Anna said. “Right?”

“We asked for what we wanted,” said Cas. “That’s all we could do.”

Nobody spoke to each other for the rest of the night. The next morning, Anna and Cas took the bus to school. Cas could barely focus throughout the day, but he did his best. When he got home, Naomi and Tim were waiting in the living room.

“We want to say we’re sorry,” said Tim. 

“I was very upset,” Naomi explained. “I… we… had no idea that you two felt that way. We wish… that you had told us.”

“We didn’t want to… disappoint you,” said Anna.

“Just, don’t lie to us, please,” Tim said. 

So that went over much better than Cas had expected. 

Chuck called the same time he did normally, though he sounded upset and kind of depressed. Once Anna had hung up, Cas went to his mother.

“Daddy… sorry, Chuck, sounded sad,” Cas said. 

Naomi nodded. “The guardian ad litem sent her report to the lawyers this morning. I’m sure he must have gotten the news.”

 

Great.


	16. AP and Packing

The AP World History exam was nerve-wracking, to say the least. Cas followed a loose calendar of studying and walked into the exam fairly confident. By the end, he knew he’d messed up majorly on one of the essays, but he really hoped that he passed. The report wasn’t sent out until early July, when Cas and Anna were going to be in Kansas visiting Chuck.

Naomi and Tim decided to sign Cas and Anna up for counseling, because Naomi’s lawyer had recommended it. Their first session was late May. Cas felt really awkward about it at first, but eventually he came to look forward to their sessions. Anna, however, hated going and decided that she didn’t want to see the counselor at all, leaving her weekly sessions open to Cas. (They had traded off weeks.) So Cas saw the counselor, Rita, once a week, and he liked it. He felt guilty sometimes about how much it cost, but he always walked out of their talks feeling inspired and happy. Rita even helped him with talking to his parents. Cas loved how she didn’t judge him and even encouraged him to differentiate from his parents and become his own person.

The end of school was approaching and Cas was getting really excited. Not to see Chuck, of course, but to see Dean. And Sam, and Mary and John, but… mostly Dean. He wasn’t at all looking forward to seeing Chuck, because of what happened with the guardian ad litem. 

Chuck had called almost as soon as he’d gotten the guardian ad litem’s report from his lawyer. He explained to Anna and Cas over the phone that… well, he didn’t give any straight answers. He said they would talk more about it in July. Oh, and he’d informed Naomi that he was taking a vacation to Maryland in July. Right in the middle of his visitation time with Cas and Anna. (Cas assumed that Chuck thought it was justified, as he’d invited Cas and Anna to come with him and Becky… but he wouldn’t bring them back to the Winchesters’ at night. Awesome.)

He also told Naomi that he was postponing their court case “to a later date.” Everyone was incredibly relieved to hear that… Cas felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders .

Anna, naturally, was furious but refused to talk to anybody about any of it. “She’s that age,” Naomi told Cas. “Give her some time.”

Cas, honestly… didn’t even give a crap anymore. He’d hoped that during the time Chuck was gone he could stay with the Winchesters, but Naomi said they should go back to New Hampshire. However, the Winchester’s had arranged for Anna and Cas to stay with them for a week at the end of July as a sort of vacation. Naomi and Tim hadn’t been too pleased, but Cas was ecstatic. (He tried to subtly ask Dean if there was a piano anywhere around, but that hadn’t worked. He supposed he’d have to improvise… but he was determined to play “Longing Love” for Dean before he had to leave. He’d been practicing for so long…)

Cas studied a LOT for finals. Part of it was that he wanted to bring up his GPA high enough to get on his school’s chapter of the NHS his junior year, and the other part was that he didn’t want to freaking FAIL.

On the last day of finals Cas did a little bit of writing. The next day he got together all his summer homework and started packing for Kansas, even though they weren’t leaving until the end of June, a couple weeks away. It was nice to pack clothes in his suitcase and think, _Dean’s going to see me wear this._

 

The grades from his finals came in relatively quickly. Cas was relieved to find that he’d gotten an A on his AP World History final, and Bs on most of the rest. 

But finals were almost the last thing in his mind at that point. He was busy packing, and thinking about how amazing it would be to see Dean. A week in advance, he started packing everything. Three days before they left, his bags were already packed. 

Naomi, to Cas’ shock, brought him and Anna to Kansas a week early. She said something vague about Anna and Cas wanting to see the Winchesters, dropped them off, and left for New Hampshire. Cas didn’t ask why; she probably wanted to see Tim or something. 

The sight of the car driving away was all-too-welcome. Cas kept his face turned away from Dean on purpose.

“So!” Dean said, prodding Cas’ shoulder. “What’s up?”

Cas turned around, unable to keep the grin off his face.

“Cas, your… your glasses!?” Dean sputtered. “Wh… whoa! You look…”

Suddenly seized by a fit of self-consciousness, Cas ducked his head. “Do I look stupid?” 

“You look awesome!” Dean pulled him into a bear hug and whispered in his ear: “You look hot as hell, Cas.”

Blushing, Cas pushed away from him. “Pfft, stop it…” But he couldn’t keep from smiling.

“Hey, Cas, you look great!” Sam said. “Contacts, right? That’s cool.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Mommy was none too happy when she saw the bill.”

Cringe. “Yeah,” Cas said. “It’s, like, $200 for a half-year supply.”

“Could be worse,” Mary said from down the hall. “Come in here, Cas, and let me see!”

Cas went into the kitchen, and Mary turned from the counter. “Oh, you look so handsome! But the glasses looked good on you, too.”

“Thanks.” Cas looked over his shoulder. “Where’s John?”

“He works overtime almost every day now,” Sam said. “Plus he’s helping a friend build a room onto their house. He’s not around a whole lot.”

“We’re going to have so much fun, even without them,” promised Mary. “Kenwood Cove is having a sale on tickets, and we’re going there tomorrow!”

“Oh my gosh, really?” Anna actually jumped up and down a couple times. “Yay! Yay! Now I get to show off my new bathing suit!”

“God, did you bring that… lingerie set?” asked Cas.

“It’s not a… okay, fine, it’s kind of a lingerie set.” Anna put her hands on her hips. “But I look good in it, so there!”

“I’ll fend your admirers off with a stick,” said Sam.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Hey, Mom?” (Cas recognized Dean’s tone of voice: he was asking so offhandedly, it was obviously about something important to him.) “Is it okay if I bring Cas to the dance on Friday?”

“Which one is that?” Mary asked.

“The Summer Fling,” Dean said. “Fundraiser for the school? I told you about it two weeks ago…”

“Oh, that dance.” Mary smiled. “Sure, that’s fine. I’ll drop you off and pick you up, not a problem. Do you need money for tickets?”

“Nah, I saved some of the cash I got last week,” said Dean. “Thanks, Mom.”

“You guys go have fun, dinner’ll be in an hour.” Mary turned back to the counter. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing me to a dance,” Cas whispered as he followed Dean down to the basement.

Dean flashed him a smile over his shoulder. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“And where’d you get the money?” asked Cas.

“Mowed some lawns.” Dean shrugged. “What can I say? There are some girls in this neighborhood who’d pay a hundred bucks to see me half naked in their front yard.”

Cas was about to say something snappish when Dean grinned. 

“Kidding,” he said.

“Yeah, you’d better be.”

They continued up the stairs.

“I have something to show you…” Cas closed Dean’s bedroom door behind them.

“I’m interested.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

“Not like that, you idiot!” Cas shoved Dean’s shoulder. “There a piano around here?”

“Uh, no… but! There’s one at my school…” Dean smiled. “Now you _have_ to come with me.”

“I was going anyways!”

Time with Dean was always fleeting, Cas thought. Went by too fast. Hopefully this week would last forever…


	17. The Dance

Saying that Cas was nervous was an understatement. He was sweating like a pig, and he couldn’t seem to sit still. Perched on the edge of Dean’s bed, he stared at the bathroom door, waiting for Dean to come out.

“You ready?” Dean’s voice was muffled.

“Yeah.” Cas fidgeted, and the bathroom door opened. Dean was wearing a green t-shirt and khakis, and he looked good. Damn good. Cas dropped his gaze to his own hands. He definitely didn’t look that good.

“Hey, Cas, don’t be like that.” In the front edge of his vision, Cas could see the tips of Dean’s sneakers. “It’s no big deal.”

“Yes it is,” mumbled Cas. “You look great.”

“So do you!” Dean grabbed Cas’ sweaty hands and tugged him to his feet. “You look awesome in my clothes, admit it. That shirt is super flattering.”

“Y’think?” Cas did like wearing Dean’s clothes. The shirt smelled like him.

“C’mon, Cas, don’t wimp out on me now. It’s gonna be awesome! You’ll see.”

“You two, come down here right now!” Mary called upstairs. “We’re gonna be late!”

“Let’s go.” Dean pulled on Cas’ hands again. “I won’t ditch you. It’ll be fun. Honest.”

Cas followed Dean downstairs, dragging his feet only a minimal amount.

The drive to Dean’s school was too quick. Cas futzed with his hair in the rear-view mirror for a second before getting out of the car.

The school was big, and shrouded in darkness. While Dean was saying goodbye to his mom, Cas spotted the gym. The windows were high up, but multicolored lights were flashing from them. A line of kids stretched to the door, but it was a pretty disorganized line…

“Cas?”

Realizing he’d been spacing out, Cas blushed. “Sorry. Let’s go.”

The music was so loud that Cas could hear the bass and the vague melody by the time they were ten feet from the entrance.

“Doth my eyes deceive me?”

Cas turned at the familiar voice. “Gabe? What are you doing here?”

“Hey, I have friends too.” Gabe grinned at Cas. “Better question is, what are you doing here? Thought you got to spend the week with the Winchesters.”

“I’m here with Dean,” Cas admitted.

“Ooh, so you guys finally hooked up? Niiice.” Gabe glanced over his shoulder. “Well, I should go. I was kidding about the friends, by the way. I’m chaperoning. So don’t get too handsy with your boyfriend!”

“Wh- pfft, that’s-” But Gabe had already disappeared into the crowd with nary a goodbye.

“You know him?” Dean asked, coming up behind him.

“He’s my cousin.” Cas turned around. “Let’s get inside. I don’t like everyone… looking at me.”

“Nobody’s looking at you,” said Dean, which was a total lie. Several people in line were staring at Cas, obviously not recognizing him. Most likely wondering why he was with Dean.

“So, do…” Cas cleared his throat. “Do people know we’re… you know… together?”

“Well, I told my friends about you,” Dean said. “But nobody knows what you look like or anything, so-”

“Hey, is this the “Cas” we’ve all been hearing so much about?” came an unfamiliar voice.

Dean flushed and turned around. “Oh, uh, hey, Jo. Yeah, this is… this is Cas.”

Said Cas turned to greet the stranger. She had blond hair and looked relatively annoyed.

“Hi,” Cas said.

“Dean never shuts up about you,” she replied.

“Jo!” Dean blushed harder.

“I’m Jo, nice to meet you.” She didn’t sound like it.

“Nice to meet you too.”

They had reached the front of the line. Jo walked away without another word, and Dean fished a tenner out of his pocket.

“I don’t think she likes me,” Cas said as they moved towards the gym.

Dean made a face. “She kinda has a thing for me.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t like her,” Dean said quickly.

“I know.” Cas smiled and took Dean’s hand, squeezing it. “Can we go in?”

The music was mostly fast. Dean was a pretty awkward dancer, which Cas personally found adorable. Cas was a little less shy than usual, since it was dark enough that nobody but Dean could see him.

The songs slowed down. He and Dean clumsily maneuvered into each other’s arms.

“You’re a great dancer,” Dean said into his ear.

Cas shivered at the odd sensation and whispered back, “Thanks.”

They swayed together in the dark.

Closing his eyes, Cas wished that the moment would last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's art for this chapter, too! It's of Dean and Cas slowdancing... ooooooh. Here's the link:
> 
>  
> 
> <http://young-wild-mildly-insane.tumblr.com/post/152068127899/amazing-art-by-tumblr-user-umithinkyes-for-my>  
> 
> 
> . 


	18. Extra Time

(Disclaimer: Don’t own the iPhone or the brand of Apple.)

 

“REALLY?!?”

“Yes, really!” Mary laughed and grabbed Anna in a bear hug. “I’m so excited! This is the longest we’ll have seen you in…”

“Probably forever!” Anna’s eyes were lit up.

Cas didn’t say anything, but took Dean’s hand and looked over at him. 

“I’m so happy!” Anna said.

“Can’t wait,” Dean said to Cas, and Cas alone.

Naomi had decided that Anna and Cas could stay an extra week with the Winchesters, after their visitation with Chuck had finished. And, after that, John had decided to schedule a trip to Florida for his family, and when Mary had invited Cas and Anna to come with them, Naomi had agreed to let them go.

“I know how important they are to you,” Naomi had said to Cas over the phone. “And Tim has some time off of work…”

“I’m glad you two will get some time together,” Cas had said.

“We’ll miss you,” she’d said.

“I’ll miss you, too.” But he’d been lying, just a little bit. He was ecstatic to get this extra time with John, with Mary, with Sam… and, yes, mostly with Dean.

Extra time. What a miracle.

~

“I don’t want to go,” Anna complained.

“I know,” Cas said. “It’s only for another week.”

“See you in a week!” Mary said to them.

Dean pecked Cas on the cheek. “Hurry up and get back here.”

Mary, Sam, and Dean waved them off. Chuck opened the door for Anna. Becky was in the front seat, and she greeted Cas with a wide smile.

“Hey,” Chuck said to Cas. “Do you have a phone yet?”

“No…” Cas wondered where this was going.

Chuck smiled. “I just got the new iPhone. I was planning on selling my old one, but if you want it, you can have it.”

“Yes!” Cas said. He’d wanted a phone for SO LONG. An iPhone? Hell yes.

So they went to a store and got the phone wiped, and got Cas a new number. It was a Kansas number, not a New Hampshire one, but Cas didn’t mind. He downloaded some apps and took a few pictures, but only when they pulled into his cousins’ driveway did he realize that he’d have to tell his mom.

“Chuck gave me a phone,” he said to her.

A moment of silence on the other end. Then: “Mail it to me.”

Reluctantly, Cas let Michael ship the phone to New Hampshire. Maybe he should have held off a few days… but, no. He’d made the right choice, telling the truth.

Chuck asked the next day. “Where’s your phone?”

“My mom asked for it,” replied Cas.

Updates from his mom informed him that she and Tim would have to put restrictions on the phone. “We don’t want you using it without being monitored,” she said over the phone. 

“It, um, kind of put me in an uncomfortable place,” Cas said. “When he asked about it… I had to, you know, make something up.”

“What should we have done, let you use it unsupervised for another week?”

 _Yes,_ Cas thought, but he said “no.”

“When can I have it back?” he asked.

“When you get home, and we talk to your father about it.”

Naomi hung up before Cas could ask _which father._


	19. Performance

(Disclaimer: Still don’t own Longing Love.)

 

It had been a day since their visitation was over when Cas remembered:

“I never played for you,” Cas said to Dean. 

“Played what…?”

“Can we get to a piano?” Cas asked.

“There’s one at school… I can call and ask if we can use it for a bit.” Dean narrowed his eyes at Cas. “What’s all this about?”

Cas hoped he remembered the song. It’d been a while since he’d practiced. “You’ll see.”

~

The piano was gorgeous, much higher quality than the one he used in New Hampshire. Cas hit a few keys experimentally before turning to Dean.

“Go into the hall and close the door,” Cas said. “In five minutes, come in. No sooner.”

Dean blinked. “Okay.” He left and shut the door.

The next four minutes, Cas played through “Longing Love” at lightspeed, shocked he remembered the vast majority of it. Well, he’d sure played it enough times.

A minute later, Cas heard the door open. He didn’t look up, but began the intro.

The song was… long. Cas’ fingers started aching halfway through. But feeling Dean’s eyes on him was pretty much the ultimate motivation. He thought about how much he cared about Dean, those nights on the roof, those nights chatting into the wee hours, and tried to channel it through his hands and into the piano. 

He played the end of the song and let the notes ring through the room.

Looking up for the first time in about ten minutes, Cas saw Dean’s mouth was hanging open.

“You don’t have to do that,” Cas murmured, looking back down.

Dean’s teeth clicked. “Do… what?”

“Pretend it was so… amazing.”

“Cas, that was… the… best thing anyone’s ever done for me. Ever!” Suddenly, Dean’s arms were around his shoulders. “Cas, that was… incredible.”

“Thanks…”

“You don’t believe me.” Dean’s arms tightened. “Please believe me. That was… wow.”

Cas turned on the bench. “You really liked it?”

“Yeah, it… wow. Just, wow.” Dean was grinning from ear to ear. “How long did you practice that?”

“Months,” Cas admitted.

“Wow,” repeated Dean. 

 

Standing up, Cas put his arms around Dean. “I’m glad you like it. I’m really glad.”

“Like it? I… like it is, like, not even a thing! That was… I can’t even find a word for that.”

“Stop it,” Cas complained, “it couldn’t have been _that_ great.”

 

“I’m gonna stop now, so you don’t think I’m a total lovesick moron.” Dean put his forehead on Cas’ shoulder.

“But you _are_ a total lovesick moron,” Cas teased him.

“No, I’m not, shut _up._ ”

“Yeah, but you’re _my_ lovesick moron.”

“Stop being a sap, it’s weird.”

“Yeah, I’m _your_ sap, Dean Winchester.”

“Alright, enough with the chick flick moments.” Dean tried to wriggle out of Cas’ embrace.

 

“Ah, you love it.”

Dean huffed into Cas’ neck. “You’re right, I do.”

“Ha, I knew-”

“Shut up and kiss me, you jerk.”

Cas obliged. Dean’s hands were warm on his shoulders.

What seemed like ages later, somebody cleared their throat.

Dean whipped around, and Cas blinked, disoriented. Standing at the door to the music room was a teenage boy holding a Subway bag, looking really uncomfortable.

“Uh,” he said. “The band’s coming in a few.”

Faces on fire, Dean and Cas nodded. Cas put the cover back on the piano, and they scurried out the back exit.

When they reached the parking lot, Cas collapsed with laughter.

“Oh. My. God…” Dean groaned.

“So much for, keeping us, a secret!” Cas wheezed, and burst out laughing again.

Dean huffed, but couldn’t help chiming his laugh in with Cas’. 

~

Only one other thing happened that day that’s worth mentioning:

He remembered that his scores were available online, as of that morning. Cas fished his AP card out of his toiletry bag and went onto the website. 

To his amazement, he passed! With a 3, but who cared?! He passed!!

He yelled up to Mary and Dean, who told Sam and Anna and John. They went out to ice cream after dinner to celebrate. 

Cas called Naomi as well. “Guess what? I passed the AP exam!”

“What’d you get?” she asked.

“A three…”

“That’s passable, at least.” Pause. “Try harder next time.”

And then she hung up.


	20. The Drive

(Disclaimer: I don’t own The Walking Dead or the video game based off it.)

 

Cas woke up early and finished packing his suitcase at around 7:30. He was so excited that the day had finally come - they were leaving for Florida! The drive was going to be hella long but so worth it. 

It was difficult, but Cas managed to fit all his clothes in his suitcase. He also had a backpack with his summer homework, his laptop, and a few novels. Thank god most of his summer reading was done… now, he had to worry about those thirty terms and the questions for AP Bio…

He was startled from his thoughts when a hand landed on his shoulder. “Good morning, Cas!” It was Mary. “You’re up early.”

“I’m usually up this early.” Cas liked using Dean’s XBox without feeling like he was ignoring anyone or being rude. He finished Dishonored the other-

“Cas?”

“Sorry, I was spacing out.” Cas stood up. “Where’s everyone else?”

“John’s got the car at the shop, and I just woke up Sam and your sister.” Mary smiled. “Would you mind going to wake Dean up?”

“Not at all.”

“Make it quick, ‘cause I’m making us breakfast for the road.”

Cas hightailed it upstairs and pushed open Dean’s bedroom door. Ironically, he’d climbed out of Dean’s bed less than an hour ago. There was a trundle bed for him on the floor, but he and Dean had abolished that practice a while ago.

Annoyed, Cas shook his head. He sure was distracted this morning.

“Hey, Dean…” Cas climbed onto the bed and scooted until his back was almost touching Dean’s chest. “Wake up, Dean.” He ran a hand through Dean’s hair, very gently.

“Mmm…” Dean’s eyebrows scrunched together, and he tried to burrow under his pillow.

“Dean, wake up. We’re leaving soon.”

“Ughh… d’ I have t’...” he murmured.

“Yes, you have to.” Cas couldn’t keep from smiling. “Come on, big boy. Get up.”

“Don’t call me that.” Dean groaned and rolled over, looking up at Cas with bleary eyes. “Sounds like some kind of kinky crap.”

“You’re so weird.” Pecking Dean’s forehead, Cas crawled out of his bed. “Hurry, or there won’t be any breakfast left.”

“Can you grab me some?” 

Cas rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Fine.”

“Wait a sec, come back here.” Dean reached his hands out to Cas.

Going over, Cas said, “If you’re planning to seduce me into getting you extra food, it won’t wor-”

Dean grabbed the front of Cas’ shirt and pulled him down on top of him, insistently kissing him. Cas was startled for a moment before putting his hands on either side of Dean’s head and kissing back, making sure not to put his entire body weight down on top of his boyfriend.

Pulling back, Dean grinned. “Convinced yet?” Dean stared up at Cas, looking irresistibly cute and flushed.

It took Cas a minute to process what Dean said. He finally said “shut up” and dipped his head to kiss Dean again. He withdrew before Dean could kiss him back.

Dean pouted. “Rude!”

“Don’t be a baby,” Cas teased. “Get dressed, and I’ll save you some food. Deal?”

“I’d rather stay here and make out with you,” said Dean.

Cas laughed. “I’m not falling for that one again. Get up, you goof.”

“Party pooper.” Dean dragged himself out of bed as Cas left the room.

Breakfast turned let out to be toaster waffles. Mary had put out a canister of whipped cream next to the paper towels. Cas sprayed his waffles with it and took two extras for Dean.

Dean came downstairs with his hair a complete mess and took the waffles from Cas when he offered them. “Thanks, babe.” Dean grabbed one of Cas’ waffles and took a bite out of it.

“Hey, I got you some!” Cas swatted Dean’s hand away as he went in for a second bite. “Eat your own!” 

“Yours are better.”

“You haven’t even tried yours yet!!”

Cas noticed Mary smiling by the stove.

~

John had rented a minivan, which he was not happy about. But it was the most logical choice, so all the luggage and beach equipment would fit, and everybody would have a bit of extra elbow room. Dean and Cas sat in the way back, and Sam and Anna sat in the middle row.

The drive didn’t drag half as much as Cas expected. Probably because he and Anna were so used to driving long distances. Still, it took a solid two days to get from Kansas to Florida. On the first day, Sam and Anna put their heads together and played the tablet version of The Walking Dead video game. Cas listened to music for a while, then chatted with Dean about random things. He got in an argument with Sam over which captain at around lunchtime… that had been interesting.

They drove until dinnertime the first day, grabbing some fast food and stopping at a hotel in Arkansas. John and Mary had bought two rooms for them, knowing it would be very crowded if all six of them stayed in one room. Dean and Cas shared a bed, Sam and Anna another, and the parents took the other room to themselves. 

“I’m beat,” Dean whispered to him once the lights were turned out. “How the hell does that work? We haven’t even been doing anything.”

“Just how traveling is,” Cas said. “It’s tiring.”

“Weird.” Dean yawned. “G’night, Cas.”

Cas had, against his will, already fallen asleep.

The next day started early. John woke them up at seven and had everyone in the car by seven-thirty. Mary asked to take the first turn driving, and John napped in the passenger’s seat.

Dean fell asleep on Cas’ shoulder not long after they piled into the car, and Cas rested his head on top of Dean’s. He, too, fell asleep.

“Morning, babe,” Dean said into his ear.

Cas jumped. “Wh- oh! I didn’t know you were awake.”

“Am now.” Dean yawned and did a careful stretch, trying not to hit the window. 

“What time is it?” Mary’s purse was in front of the car’s time display.

Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. “Uh… ‘bout ten.”

“Phew.” Cas glanced out the window. “Well, this drive isn’t as long as the one from New Hampshire to Kansas, so I guess we’re making good time.”

“How long does it take you to get here?”

“About a day, if Naomi drives straight through.” Cas shrugged. “We usually wake up super early and get to our cousins’ super late.”

“Hey, Mom, how much longer until we get there?” Dean asked Mary.

“About… fifteen hours.” Mary turned around in her seat and smiled. “So, maybe nine or ten tonight.”

Dean groaned.

“Not much of a traveler, are you?” Cas poked his arm, grinning.

“Shut up.”

“Don’t worry,” said Cas. “By the end of this, you’ll be a seasoned veteran of car trips.”

The day dragged at times, but Cas kept himself busy. He couldn’t write on his laptop (no downloads meant no offline docs programs) but he sketched in his notebook, scribbled down a few poems. He listened through all the music on his iPod… twice. Dean listened with him a few times, either to fend off the boredom or to have an excuse to kiss his neck, Cas couldn’t tell. 

Sam started singing “Ninety Nine Bottles Of Beer On The Wall” and only got to eighty-nine before Anna threatened to commit a felony if he didn’t shut up. (He shut up.)

They reached the hotel in record time. Well, John might have been going over the speed limit fairly consistently… then again, Naomi did the same thing all the time, so Cas was used to it. Sam kept telling him to slow down, though. 

The hotel was hard to see in the dark, and Cas was honestly too tired to be all that excited about it. Dean climbed out of the car and offered Cas his hand.

“What a gentleman,” Cas said, slinging his backpack over one shoulder and reaching out. However, he misjudged the distance and ended up toppling forward.

“Cas? You okay?” Dean caught him easily and helped him out of the car.

Blushing, Cas nodded. “Fine, just clumsy.” 

“And tired, I bet.” John turned the car off. “I’ll get a cart, and we’ll get to the room ASAP.”

“Thank god,” Anna muttered.

Everything past that was kind of a blur. Cas held onto Dean’s hand. Suddenly, he realized they were in the room, and Mary was pushing his suitcase into his hands.

“We’ll get the pull-out made up for you. Do you mind sleeping with Dean?”

“Not at all,” Cas said. He shook his head a few times to try and wake himself up.

Soon, the bed was made up. Cas helped fit the sheets over the mattress. Glancing over at the kitchen, he saw Dean nearly falling asleep on his feet, leaning up against the counter.

“Come on, it’s time for bed.” Cas took him by the hand and steered him over to the couch.

“Thank god,” Dean echoed his sister.

“Take your shoes off, you goof.”

“I know…”

Cas shucked his jacket and jeans off and tossed them onto a nearby chair. “Hurry up!”

“Fight me,” Dean grumbled, wriggling out of his sweatpants and kicking off his shoes.

Finally they were settled into the bed together. Cas immediately wrapped his arms around Dean and twined his legs into Dean’s.

“Night.”

Dean didn’t reply, and Cas immediately fell asleep.


	21. Best Days

(Disclaimer: I don’t own GTA or Until Dawn.)

 

The days passed too fast and too slow simultaneously. They went shopping for cookies and fruit, and snacks for the beach. The beach, too, was amazing - and Dean looked really hot shirtless. Also, Cas was really hot temperature-wise, since it was usually between ninety and a hundred degrees every day.

Dean and Cas passed many mornings talking. They talked about their schools, problems with their younger siblings, the meaning of life… they covered the vast majority of conversation topics in that week. Somehow, they never ran out of things to talk about.

The fourth and fifth days they were there, it was raining too much to go to the beach. But even on the lazy days trapped inside, everyone found ways to keep busy. Anna and Sam challenged Dean and Cas to a game of Twister, which Cas immediately lost, and Dean not long after. They ended up tangled up together, laughing their butts off.   
Anna got addicted to GTA 5, which mildly concerned Cas. Sam, too, sometimes got nervous when she tried to run over small cars with a tanker, or divebomb an old lady from a parachute. It was funny, though.

Cas and Dean also decided to play Until Dawn, which was a horrible decision on Cas’ part. He was a total wimp when it came to jumpscares . He leapt on top of Dean at least five times within the first hour of them playing the game. And when Dean made him play, he’d hold the controller in front of his face to partially hide to screen from himself… and then, one time, he smacked himself in the forehead with it after a particularly un-scary jumpscare.

“You’re so full of it!” Dean said after he finished laughing at him. “That was totally not scary!”

“Shut up!”

On the second day, they went to the boardwalk. Mary and John had already apologized that they didn’t have the funds to go to any of the big-ticket amusement parks, but Cas didn’t mind at all. The boardwalk was more than enough.

And it was SO much fun. They went on a few rides, but most of them weren’t very exciting. There was a kid-sized ride called the Frog Hop that was the tiny version of those up-and-down rides. Cas didn’t know how else to describe them, but Dean laughed at him.

“Up-and-down rides?”

“That’s what they are!” Cas argued.

Dean opened his mouth, then shut it. “Huh. I… well, they have a real name. But yeah, I guess they are.”

They went to the arcade and blew about $100, only stopping when John made them. Then they went and got an entire bucket of french fries.

“How are we gonna eat all these?” Anna asked.

“Like this.” Dean grabbed a handful and put them in his mouth. “Eashy,” he said with his mouth full.

Anna wrinkled her nose, but Sam and Cas laughed.

The week, Cas decided, went by too fast. When it was happening, it felt like it would last forever, but it went by much too fast.

Six days passed. The four of them played video games, messed around in the ocean, buried each other in sand, ate out at restaurants, demolished two cartons of ice cream, and talked. Cas and Dean stayed joined at the hip the entire time. 

When Dean burned his shoulders in the sun, Cas put cortisone cream on them and stayed inside with him. They finished Until Dawn and Cas hid under the covers, content to let Dean protect him from the dude in the clown mask. They played music on Cas’ laptop and even danced around a little bit. They kissed in the dark, they held hands constantly.

Finally, it was the sixth night. Mary had just turned off the light. The city was lit up out on the balcony, and the curtains drifted in the breeze.

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Cas whispered into the dark.

Dean found his hand under the covers and squeezed it.

“And when we get back, Anna and I are getting on a plane and going back to New Hampshire,” Cas said. (Saying it aloud made it feel more real, somehow.)

He rolled and faced Dean, though he could hardly see him in the dim light. 

“This whole week’s been like a dream,” Cas said. “I’ve had so much fun, Dean.”

Dean sighed, his breath a breeze over Cas’ face. It smelled faintly of sugar.

“Let’s go out onto the balcony,” Dean said all of a sudden.

Cas barely hesitated before saying “Okay.”

Quietly, they crept out of bed. Cas pulled the door open and held it for Dean, trying not to laugh when he was hit by one of the curtains. 

Shutting the door behind them, Cas turned. Dean was leaning out over the railing. Cas sidled up to him, resting his elbows on the metal.

“So,” Cas said. “What’s this about?”

Dean turned to him, face half in shadow. “I… don’t want us to be sad on our last night,” he said. 

“I know…” Cas turned and stared out over the city, not really looking but seeing only a blur of many lights.

“This whole thing kinda sucks...” said Dean, “but we should try and… make the most of it. We’ve still got a little while. And… I’ll see you at Thanksgiving. That’s not all that long away.”

“Yeah…”

“I know you don’t really believe me, Cas.” Dean took Cas’ hand. “But this won’t last forever. Only a couple years, and then we can be together for real.”

“Assuming I can find a way to pay for college,” Cas murmured. “Assuming I can get into college in Kansas. Assuming I can get a job in Kansas, and assuming I-”

“Listen, Cas, listen.” Dean took Cas’ other hand and turned him so they were facing one another. “Cas, look at me!”

Cas had kept his gaze directed down, but finally looked up. He couldn’t keep a couple tears from falling.

“Oh, hell.” Dean pulled Cas into his arms and put his forehead against Cas’. 

“Sorry,” Cas whispered, closing his eyes and trying to keep from full-on crying. “I j-just… don’t want to wait. It’s so… so hard. Not s-seeing you, and Naomi, and Tim, and everyth-thing…”

“I know it’s hard,” Dean said, voice quiet. “It’s hard for me, too, Cas, but we’ll make it, I swear… You’re so damn strong, Cas. It’s okay, it’s okay…”

Finally, Cas broke down. He sobbed into the front of Dean’s nightshirt. Dimly he was aware of Dean lowering him into a chair, but not going any further away from him, which Cas was so grateful for. It was incredibly overwhelming right at that moment. His parents fighting constantly, all the damn pressure, and he couldn’t… stay strong. Not all the time, at least. 

He let out years of tears pushed back, all at once.

His breathing started to even out after a while. Cas looked up, and saw Dean’s shirt wet with his tears. He sniffed. “Sorry…”

“Stop apologizing, you idiot.” Dean reached up and swiped at Cas’ lower eye. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Cas admitted.

“That’s good, ‘cause I’m not either.” Dean smiled his signature crooked grin.

Cas sniffed again, and let out a shaky breath. “Thanks.”

Somehow, Dean knew what he meant. “No problem. You’d do the same for me.”

“You’re right.” Cas stood up, pulling Dean with him, and wiping away a few remaining tears. “I don’t want us to be sad, either.”

Dean managed a smile, and it struck Cas how beautiful he looked, face lit up by the city lights. 

“You’re beautiful,” he blurted.

“So are you,” Dean replied.

They kissed for a few minutes. The sea breeze whipped at their hair.

“Wish we could walk on the beach, one last time,” said Cas.

“Mom and Dad would hear the door.” Dean shrugged. “Anyways, it’s nice out here, too.”

They kissed again, hands more passionate than their lips knew how to be. Cas slid his hands down Dean’s back, and Dean rubbed a thumb on Cas’ collarbone. Cas shivered and smiled against Dean’s lips.

“I’ll miss you,” Dean said.

“I’ll miss you, too.” Cas made a conscious effort to not cry. 

“Don’t worry,” Dean whispered into his ear. “We’ll get to do all the stupid normal couple stuff someday. Someday, Cas, I swear. We’ll do rock concerts and gross cafes and hay rides and all that crap.”

Cas laughed. “I look forward to it.”

“Let’s get to bed.” Dean exhaled. “We’ve got a long road ahead of us.”

Not bothering to reply, Cas kissed him one last time, and opened the door. He shut it behind them with a clack. 

Outside, the city glowed in the night.


	22. Epilogue

Cas reached into the mailbox and pulled out a single envelope. His heart started pounding when he saw the return address was to the University Of Kansas.

Hands trembling, he slit open the envelope and hastily unfolded the letter inside.

 

For a moment, he couldn’t do anything but stare at the words typed there…

His face split into a smile, so wide that his cheeks hurt.

Clutching the letter in one hand, he pulled his phone from his pocket. He missed the phone icon the first time his finger searched it out, but the second time he managed to open it. 

Under his Favorites, in the top slot, was Dean. 

Smile still on his face, he made the call.

One ring. Two. Three.

Click.

 

“Hey, Dean.” Cas struggled to keep his tone casual. 

“So, I’ve got some news for you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew from many of my life experiences when I wrote this fic. I was a way for me to cope by directly facing the bad things that happened to me and knowing that they, too, shall pass. Cas learns this lesson, too! As for his happy ending, I've still got that ahead of me.   
> I hope you liked my fic! Comments are much appreciated!


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